Week Three & Not Eating Enough

Week Three is in the bag, and I’m still feeling strong and motivated. I’m staying on track and I’m not cheating BUT I have hit my first stumbling block, and I need to change it now.

I’m not eating enough. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still eating lots, but I’m not eating my daily required amounts of veggies. Mostly because I’m lazy, and I just don’t take the time to prepare. That and I’m not all that creative, or all that happy being in the kitchen. I actually have a tonne of good excuses, but frankly, that’s all they are. Excuses.

On Ideal Protein, I can eat as much lettuce as I want, so I eat a minimum of 2 big salads/day. What I also need to do is eat 2 cups of other veggies at lunch and then again at supper. I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but ……. I find myself eating the same things, and I need variety. I don’t want to get bored or sad about what I’m eating, and what I’m no longer eating. This needs to be my forever way of eating, and not something that’s “just for now” while I lose weight.

So friends, who wants to help me? I need some food prep buddies, someone with some creativity and a willingness to put up with someone who is miserable in the kitchen. There’s quite a few veggies that I can’t eat, but there’s a TONNE of things I can. If you’ve got some great recipes or ideas, send them my way. I don’t like many veggies, but I’m willing to try new ones, once anyways. LOL. Also bear in mind, I can’t have any high sugar veggies and no dairy, but I still have a massive list of stuff to choose from. Who’s up for the challenge & wants to help me get out of my own way? I need you or you’s.

In spite of my sorta fail this week, I’m still getting better. Here’s what Week Three brought me and what went away.

~ People are starting to see changes & have commented that I look good. (Hello people, I always look good. Duh). 😉

~ I’m feeling different, as in my body and my skin move differently and I feel like a different person      inside my body. As usual, I’ll just say it’s all weird.

~ My clothes are fitting better. Not a new size, but fitting better.

~ The shooting pains in my arms and legs that I’ve been experiencing for the past couple of years          have basically stopped.

~ I lost 1.2 lbs and 2 more inches. Not lots, but I don’t care. Woot, Woot.

Now to give up the excuses and get myself into the kitchen. Gah.

 

 

 

  • JOIN ME.  I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

Thanks Coach.

Today I had one of those moments that confirmed that I was on this journey with the right people, and I wanted to share.

I still spend a lot of time at the doctors office or in an emergency room as I’m still recovering from my 2 years of awful. I get checked out, prodded, poked, weighed and measured more times in one month than most people do in a year. Because of all those situations, I get told, A LOT, that I need to lose weight because that will miraculously make everything better. FYI. That’s a bunch of hooey & is nothing more than a canned response that is given to anyone that’s even slightly overweight. Which is wrong. (And yes I have the CT scans, Ultrasounds, MRI’s, and transfusion cards to dispute that “fat girl” diagnosis). But, I digress …..

Today, I had one of my regular appointments and I was actually congratulated by my doctor for making my decision to start Ideal Protein. He let me know that my Coach had sent him my lab work, along with a list of things that he was watching while I was on the program. He was impressed that he had been included, and looked forward to helping me on this journey, alongside my coach. He was excited that I was eating lots of good healthy food, and that my nutrition needs were being met and probably exceeded. He was happy to know that I wasn’t trying to starve myself and wasn’t just living on shakes. And most of all, he was pleased that I was being monitored and guided on this journey.

For me, it was nice being at a doctor’s appointment and not being made to feel fat and stupid as this isn’t about me losing weight. This is about me finding life and finding the right people to help me achieve just that. Life.

Thanks Coach for being on my team. And for taking me and my well being so seriously. I am grateful.

*I totally know that this sounds like an advertisement, but it isn’t. I am truly thankful to have a health professional that actually gives a rip about me, and if you knew what these last 2 years have done to me, you’d get it.  🙂  My Coach is Suhas who works alongside his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. If you want to join me, you can reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

Week Two. I hate celery.

I don’t understand celery. It’s a whole lotta chewing. And it’s stringy. But it’s green and I don’t have to cook it, so I guess I’ll keep eating it.

I wish it tasted like bread. Bread with cheddar cheese on it. That would be the perfect celery.

Sigh.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m actually doing really good. This journey isn’t easy by any means, but I’m totally staying on plan and feel really good about my decision to start. I truly never thought that I’d be this okay with giving so much up, and yet here I am. Really okay.

I won’t lie to you and say that I don’t think about my favourite things, like Iced Capps, and Nachos, and Bread. But now when I think about them, they don’t consume me anymore. My faves have just become thoughts in the back of my mind as opposed to “needs”. It’s still weird to me that I’ve come to this place, really weird actually, but it’s cool knowing that I’ve actually got the willpower to change my life. Who knew?

I’d love to say that I could’ve done all of this on my own, without using special products, or having a coach, but for the first time in my life, I’m being honest. I’m my own worst enemy, and I need help. Lots of it. I absolutely love Ideal Protein. It works so well with my busy, crazy world and I really needed that. I needed a Helper that gets me, and this one does.  😉

So as week two wraps up, here’s what’s gone down.

My insatiable thirst has completely eased off. If you know me personally, you know that I am always thirsty, and drink water non-stop. That is pretty much gone. Now I drink water because it’s good, and not because I feel like I may die without it.

I’m tired at night. And not at 2am but 10pm. I’ve never had this much sleep before, and as nice as it is, it’s really messing up my “work day”. Know how much I accomplished between Midnight and 2am??? LOL.

I’m down 14.2 lbs and 4.5 inches.

Maybe celery isn’t so bad after all.

 

  • JOIN ME.  I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

Winning at Week One

Well, my first week of Ideal Protein life has come to a close.

It went a whole lot better than I thought it would, a lot better. It’s amazing how much easier it is to be on a diet, without actually caring about how much weight you lose. There’s a weird freedom in that, a nice breathable kind of freedom.

When I look back on the week, the hardest thing about it was all the eating. For the first time, in a really long time, I made myself conscious of the choices I was making. I was eating on a schedule. I was satisfied when I was done and I felt hungry at the appropriate times. I wasn’t being controlled by food, I was controlling it. And frankly, it was kind of cool.

Day 3 & Day 4 were the days of massive headache. Apparently the body gets riled up and angry for a bit when you take away its crappy fuel source, and it starts burning its own fat stores. It wasn’t pretty, but some Advil, some salt and some electrolyte drinks later… I survived.

Day 5, I woke up and the inflammation in my hands was noticeably decreased. For anyone that knows me, they know that my hands hurt constantly, they swell, and I can’t overuse them or they just don’t work. I never would’ve thought that 5 days of nothing but good clean food, and no sugar would make such a difference in that particular area. Didn’t expect it, but I sure as heck appreciate it.

Day 6. I felt awake. Not the “I feel so tired” but now am awake kind of awake, but the kind where a fog has lifted and I can see.

Day 7.  Well it was just another day, and how awesome is that? I wasn’t focused on anything negative. It was just me, my veggies, my protein packs and it was a Monday. Who ever feels good on a Monday?

I really, truly didn’t feel like I was missing out on something this week. I didn’t feel like my life was ending because I couldn’t have an Iced Capp. I didn’t feel like I couldn’t do this. I felt like I was finally on my way to feeling better.

And now as I sit down to write about it, I’m actually having a really hard time finding the words to describe this past week, as my brain & my heart seem to have shifted. Shifted into a place or an attitude or a thought process that it’s never experienced before. I guess that drop into Rock Bottom turned something on. Or off. Whatever it did, I like it.

I’m super excited to see what the rest of 2017 brings. I’ve taken before pictures, weights and measurements and will share them some day. But not today.

For today, I give you this. My results from Week One. I’ve got less overall pain, less inflammation, a much brighter outlook, and I weigh 12.2 lbs less. I call that a good start to a good thing.

Week One. Win.

  • I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

2017: The year of Losing, Living and Winning

You know that day when you wake up and you’re just done. That day when you look in the mirror, and stare yourself straight in the face and know that you have come to the end of yourself. That you have finally found a stopping place?

I don’t want to call it hitting rock bottom because that just sounds like a horrible place to be. And frankly, who wants to admit that rock bottom is where they’ve found themselves?

But today I’m admitting to all of you that I am that person. I am in that place, I am done, and I am at rock bottom.

My body is failing me, or maybe I should say that I’VE been seriously failing my body.

I’ve been overweight my entire life. I’ve been in pain for more years than I’d like to admit. I’m currently the fattest person in the world to actually suffer from malnutrition. I’ve bled – almost to death, I have chronic and almost debilitating sinus issues, I get headaches – a lot of headaches and I now enjoy panic attacks in reaction to my levels of pain & the ways my body is acting. I am physically a broken mess.

Where I’ve failed my body is that I have done basically nothing to try to make things better. I’ve just come to accept that this is where I’m at, and I just live with it. I’ve seen great doctors, specialists and all kinds of fabulous professionals. They’ve given me great advice, and have explained to me what’s going on in my body. They’ve given me pills and supplements and plans to follow. All have worked on some level, but will never really “fix” what’s wrong with me.

Reason being … it’s me. I have to change me.

I am a most excellent caregiver and can take great care of all those around me. I’m sensitive to others feelings and find ways to encourage and lift them up when they need it most. Helping others is what feeds my soul, it’s what makes me, me. Unfortunately, I get so caught up in putting everyone else first, that i completely forget about myself. I haven’t done it on purpose, I’ve literally forgotten & lost myself.

And if we’re being truly honest, I’ve got food issues. Not just the standard, binge eating and sugar seeking, which I’ve got but weird ones too. I hate cooking, so if I don’t have to cook for my family, I don’t do it, which means if I’m at home alone, I don’t eat. Unless it’s something like toast or cookies, because that’s not really cooking. If I go out, I’ll buy fast food, because well, I don’t have to cook it. Food prep is like cooking, and most healthy food needs some version of prepping, so again I choose not eating or I choose to eat garbage. If I go on a diet, I usually choose not eating because I can’t eat what I really want. It’s warped and messed up but I can very easily go 18-20 hours without eating anything, many days/week. I am basically, unintentionally starving myself, and that is what is keeping me fat. My body is screaming for healthy food, vegetables, protein, and eating on a regular basis and I just can’t seem to make myself get in the kitchen or even really care.

I am 100% without question, my own worst enemy.

But today, I am doing something about that. I’ve finally admitted AND accepted that I can’t do this on my own, so I’ve asked for help. Today is the day that I’m starting the Ideal Protein diet, and completely changing everything about myself. I have a great coach that is focused on helping me become the best version of myself, and not someone who is always sick and always in pain. For that, I’m thankful.

Funny thing is, I’m not doing this to lose weight per-say. That’s obviously a part of why I’m starting, but it’s more about me getting healthy. It’s about following a plan that will make me eat like a normal person, and not only toast at midnight. It will make me aware of the food that I’m putting into my mouth and will help me focus on nutrition as opposed to just eating when I’m almost starving. With the help of my coach and the team of people who love me, this plan will help me check back into my life and my choices. It’s all laid out and easy for me to follow, and I like that. For now, I need easy while I relearn how to eat, and how to put me first. I’m excited.

I will be the first person to admit that it’s kind of weird to be going on a ‘diet’ without the main focus being on weight loss, but that works for me. I’m a very happy fat person, and fat isn’t who I am. What I am no longer happy about is being broken. It’s time to make a change so I can get out of this fog of pain and uncomfortable-ness.

I’ve made a commitment to myself, my husband, my family and my coach that 2017 is the year that I will finally make a difference in my own life. That I will stop getting in my own way. That I will take the advice and the help that is offered to me. That I will choose me first, more often than not. That I will get out of my comfort zone and try new things. That I will stop being okay with not being okay.

This blog will serve as my accountability tool. It will be my way of checking in and reminding myself of all the good that will come out of this journey. It will be my place to be honest, and angry, and happy, and sad and all of those great things.

It will be my story, and hopefully a little bit of yours too.

So, what do I need from you as my people? Please understand that this next year is about me making good choices. I’m not going to eat your chips and your cake. I’m not going to “have just one”, and start again the next day. No Iced Capps. No Lattes. Please respect me, please help me, and please be okay with the decisions that I’m making for myself. Please be on my side and know that even writing this out has been incredibly hard to do as I know that I can no longer hide. This is it friends, this is the beginning of a grand adventure.

For the next 337 days, I will be losing, living, winning and sharing it all with you.

I can’t wait to see where this year takes us.

losinglivingwinning

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday Joy

Today was my birthday and I had a great day.

But tonight, my joy showed up in birthday cards from the Wiener 6. Some were funny. Some were dumb and some were sweet. They were filled with drawings of everything from flowers and rainbows to poop emoji’s.

BirthdayCard

As always though, my favourite cards are the ones that are filled with spelling mistakes and words that I’ve never heard spoken before. Words that show me that a connection is happening, and that progress is being made. Words that remind me that though they may not be mine … they still are.

Spelling Mistakes. Moments. And Joy.

Happy Birthday to Me.

 

 

Who knew shorts were Joyful?

As we’ve entered another season, with new kids, it means I need to buy a whole new seasonal wardrobe. Well, today was new shorts day. And what a day it was. 

When I handed one of the littles his new shorts, he smiled the biggest smile & whispered thanks. I sent him off to his room to try them on with instructions to come show me. 5 minutes later, he came running out and asked if I really wanted to see the shorts. He said, ‘you really want to see how good I look’ and when I said yeah, you’re cute – the smile grew even more.

After 15 minutes, the fashion show finally started.  By the 3rd pair, he couldn’t contain his joy anymore and the tears started flowing down his little cheeks. He was literally standing in front of me twirling and crying. Over shorts.

Today’s joy is my reminder that I am making a difference in some little lives and how easy it is to take things for granted. 

Basic necessities of life should not bring that much joy. But they did.

New shorts = Joy. Who knew?