I’m pretty sure that I knew being a Mom wouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows, but I kinda hoped that it would be. I quickly figured out that my days would be filled with smiles and laughter. Hissy-fits and tears. Sleepless nights AND sleepless days. Memories and Milestones. I knew that it was going to be hard, but I still hung on to the hope that I was going to be the perfect Mom.
I would watch the Mom’s on TV that sat with their children and did craft projects and sang songs all day, and thought that I should maybe give that a try. I was going to be the Mom of children that didn’t watch television all day and instead learned things through guided play and life experiences. I’d heard of people who had babies potty trained by the time they were one, that had never drank from a bottle and had never seen a soother. I had great plans to be the Martha Stewart of Mommy’s and make everything from scratch, and wear pretty clothes and just love everyone all the time. And then I had children. Suffice it to say, I am no Martha.
As I look back on my 16 years of Mommyhood, I have many regrets and many situations that I’d like to do over. I wasn’t always sensitive and understanding when I should’ve been. I’ve had expectations that were too high, and expectations that weren’t high enough. I’ve sometimes forgotten that my kids are just kids, and have treated them like adults. I’ve been a screaming idiot, and I’ve handed out a silent treatment or two. I have not always been perfect, or anywhere near it really. But through it all, I did the best that I knew how to do at that time. I’ve had to let go of the guilt that I’ve carried for messing things up sometimes and not becoming the Mom that I had aspired to be. My kids are all healthy, happy and alive, so I know I did something right, somewhere. It may have been a messy journey, but I’ve got some great kids.
So, in honour of all of you that have had some non-perfect days, I give you this. It’s my tribute to you … the real Mom’s living through real problems, real flip-outs and real life. Hopefully my little list of crazy will help you feel better about where you’re at right now. Please stop being so hard on yourself, do the best that you know how and breathe.
Here it goes … do not judge me.
My daughter did in fact learn the alphabet and her colors from watching Barney. And quite possibly Wheel of Fortune. (Something about that spinning wheel made her very happy).
I may have thrown a bottle at a crib in the middle of the night because I was too tired to walk all the way to the bed. I may have actually thrown two bottles.
I have sent children to school with no socks and/or no underwear. And quite possibly without both at the same time. Those same children may have also knowingly been sent to school without coats, gloves, boots, etc, etc. Even when it was -20.
Every meal does not have vegetables. More than once a week.
There is WAY more sugar-coated, red dyed cereal in this house than healthy stuff. And cookies that have NOT been made by me.
My 9 month old has bounced her little bouncy chair right off the cupboard onto the floor. She survived.
My daughter ate nothing but Sweet Potatoes and Tutti Fruiti baby food from a jar for almost a year. She did turn kinda orangey. She may have also had an addiction to gripe water.
I did try to catch my falling toddler by the ankle which in fact made him fall harder. He may have knocked his front tooth out at 11 months.
I pierced my daughter with a safety pin. I promise you I cried WAY harder than she did.
Children will survive on hot dogs and dill pickles. And peanut butter on a spoon.
When my daughter was 3, I took her bottle away while we were on vacation by telling her that we forgot it at home. I may have also hid girls clothes in the boys section just so she’d wear something beside track pants. I think I may have
lied to tricked her quite a few times over the years.
I may have left a trail of fruit snacks from my children’s bedroom door to the TV so I could sleep in. I may have also left the TV turned on all night so they wouldn’t have to wake me up to put it on the right channel.
I might have convinced my children that if they ran away in public that bad people would steal them.
I have played hide and seek with my kids with full intentions of not looking for them. Thankfully, they loved that game.
I have taken my children to Ikea for the free childcare.