A Letter from a Fat Girl to the World

Today I was out buying some groceries and had the absolute joy of being surrounded by ignorant people. Not one time, but three times did someone make a comment about my weight. I heard these words …. “Who’d date that”, “Fat Cow” and “Holy, Big Mama”. I’ve heard this crap my whole life, but today was an award-winning day of stupid. Today I feel like saying something about it, so I’m writing them a letter. A letter from this Fat Girl.

fatdiet

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Perfect that isn’t overweight and believe that based on that alone, that you are better than those of us that aren’t like you. I want you to know that you’re wrong. You are stupid. You are ignorant. And you are missing out on some incredible people, experiences and relationships because of it. You are the one losing out here, not me.

When you called me fat, it was shocking, I had no idea. Thank-you for telling me and because of you, I can now lose weight and get skinny. I wish I’d know years ago. Thanks Captain Obvious, I know I’m fat, you haven’t told me anything I don’t already know. Shut-up.

I am not a lonely loser and sitting at home pining away for a man. In fact, I’ve been married for almost 20 years to an amazing man, who just so happened to marry me in spite of my fat-ness.

And he looks like this ….     Kevin    … so there.

Yes, a totally buff and muscular body-builder chose me to be his wife. Shocking huh?  So maybe, just maybe I’ve actually got some value that’s greater than what I look like. Yes, he chose me, I didn’t kidnap him and force him to marry me.

I am not sitting at home eating cookies and cake all day, and in fact, I probably accomplish a whole lot more than many of you that are judging me. I own and operate two successful business, I have 2 of my own children, and am also a foster parent to a minimum of 2 additional children at any given time. I long for a day filled of eating bon-bons and nothingness.

I am beautiful. In fact, I get told that a minimum of 2 times/day by total strangers. I may not be skinny, but I’m attractive and people are drawn to my demeanor. I’m gracious, I smile at everyone, and I treat everyone with respect. I’d rather be known for that than skinny any day. If you would rather be skinny than a decent human being, your life is going to suck. A lot.

I have birthed 2 children, and as such, it’s changed my body. Frankly, until you’ve had a minimum of 2, 9 pound human beings push themselves out of your nether regions, you should probably just shush. Enjoy your 20-year-old skinny, perfect body and give me a call in about 10 years. Just sayin.

I live a VERY full and fabulous life. I am not lonely or sad. I live in a beautiful home and drive a really nice vehicle. I’ve written stories for magazines and have done public speaking engagements. People come to me for advice and help ALL THE TIME. Who knew a fat person could actually contribute something to this world? Craziness, I know.

I challenge YOU to look at the important people in YOUR life. How many of them are overweight?? I’m guessing more than a few, and somehow, you’re able to love them in spite of their weight. Why do you think it’s okay to treat me as “lesser than” based solely on my appearance. You don’t know me, what I believe in, what I do, where I’ve come from or where I’m going. The “extra body” that I carry does not determine my worth. I don’t judge you based on your slouchy pants, caked-on make-up, badly behaved children and bad breath. I see those things as exactly that, things. Things do not a person make.

I am SO very blessed to be surrounded by other stong, intelligent and world-changing women that ALL don’t fit the “perfect image” that society demands. Instead of judging me by what I look like, judge me for what I do. I’m okay with that, in fact, I challenge you to do exactly that. Call me on my mistakes and shortcomings, but don’t you dare judge me on the size of my clothing.

Thankfully, my parents raised me right, and I KNOW my value. I know my worth and just how awesome I am. But I also know that many overweight people aren’t like me and are struggling to just fit in and belong, so I not only wrote this letter for me but for them.

I am smart, I am caring, I am kind, I am helpful, I do things that other people refuse to do, I love my fellow-man, I’m a business owner, I’m a mother, I’m a daughter, and I’m a wife. I have a name and it’s not “fat cow”. It’s April. Never forget that.

hystericalfat

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75 thoughts on “A Letter from a Fat Girl to the World

  1. Candace Hiebert February 4, 2013 at 2:44 pm Reply

    Bravo April! Loved your blog. Unbelievable that people would make comments, wish I would have been there!

  2. jaimey February 4, 2013 at 2:44 pm Reply

    I love you April

  3. MonicaMakesYouABombshell February 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm Reply

    MY GAWD!!!!! amazingly put my friend! I value all your awesomeness each and everyday since you invited me to “know” you!

  4. Nicoooodeemus February 4, 2013 at 2:51 pm Reply

    That’s awesome April I loved it!! Especially the shush part. Why can’t they all just shhhhuuuuuussshhhh. Everyone just Shhuuuuush!

  5. Gunni Leland February 4, 2013 at 2:52 pm Reply

    Ohhhh!! I would have loved to have been there! My steel Cane would have come in Handy!!!! A big {{{Hug}}} from a BIG and very content Girl!! Don’t mess with me or you get Caned!!!

  6. shandracarlson February 4, 2013 at 2:58 pm Reply

    B R I L L I A N T! You need to be in a lot more magazines and doing speaking engagements my friend. Just sayin’…

  7. Marianne Maslanko February 4, 2013 at 3:05 pm Reply

    Thanks……again

  8. Adele February 4, 2013 at 3:28 pm Reply

    You. Are. AMAZING!!! 🙂

    Loved your letter!

  9. Darci Huhn February 4, 2013 at 3:30 pm Reply

    FANTASTIC! honest, strong and bang on!! Wickedly written 🙂

  10. Kevin February 4, 2013 at 3:42 pm Reply

    I married an AMAZING woman!

  11. Lynn Connelly February 4, 2013 at 4:33 pm Reply

    People are such IDIOTS!

    We have the leading weightloss doctor in the world at the Greynuns. His name is Dr. Sharma, and he has a fb page. He says that’s it’s not as simple as eating less and exercising.

    Maybe Buddy at the grocery store should get educated.

    • this mom's got something to say ... February 4, 2013 at 4:34 pm Reply

      I was just mad that someone else felt like they had the right to try and make me feel like crap just to make themselves feel better. Seriously, I get it. I need to lose weight. I get it. I’m working out, but for the next 100 pounds, I’m going to be fat. Deal with it suckas.

  12. Charlene February 4, 2013 at 4:45 pm Reply

    April….You inspire me everyday I am so blessed to have you as a sister-in-law!

  13. Kara February 4, 2013 at 4:52 pm Reply

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!! I’m so proud of you for writing this! I just wish the ignorant people were the ones reading it!
    Everyone of us faces challenges in different ways. We all go through adversity, no one has any right to judge. I remember when Kendra was born, and I was stricken with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I couldn’t walk. I was slow, hunchbacked and could hardly pick up groceries at the store. Every move was shocking pain through my body, I wanted to cry and break down, but I knew I had to keep moving. I remember the stares, I remember the disgusting looks. I’ll never forget the helpless feeling, like I was an invalid. I’ll never forget it, ever……I believe that’s why I have such compassion today. I learned valuable lessons through that time of adversity.
    Anyhow, You are FABULOUS! I’m proud of you…..I’ll stop talking now…..:)
    Kara Henderson

    • this mom's got something to say ... February 4, 2013 at 4:58 pm Reply

      Thanks Kara. Someday people will get it … someday. Until then, let’s keep doing the right thing ourselves and hope for change.

  14. realturkeylady February 4, 2013 at 5:03 pm Reply

    You know how I feel so I’ll just add….
    YOU SAID NETHER REGIONS! *giggle*

  15. Shelley February 4, 2013 at 5:17 pm Reply

    Awesome, people are shocked when I tell them some of the comments total strangers have made to me! I choose instead to surround myself with fabulous people. Enjoyed the read.

  16. Adelle February 4, 2013 at 6:50 pm Reply

    I really appreciated reading this. Thank you for sharing your passion for people to smartening up. I have a friend with disabilities and I have had people say to me “how nice it is what I am doing”. I just look at them and say “what on earth are you talking about.”. He is my friend. And one of the most kindest people I know and I know quite a few kind people. He is not my charity case. So, I understand and hear what you are saying. Thank you so much.

  17. Tanis February 4, 2013 at 6:52 pm Reply

    You are gorgeous my dear and your story was truly inspirational. I was bullied back in my junior high school years for being slightly overweight. I was so depressed, by my peers cruel words I decided to starve myself. By the time I entered grade 9 I was as thin as a rail. I was always tired, depressed and basically secluded myself in my room most of the time. In grade ten I finally came to a realization that I really did not care about what anyone thought of me. I began eating healthy again and managed to make some new friends. If I was with you today at the grocery store I would have told those ignorant people to shove it, well you know where. lol Maybe they should take a good hard look in the mirror and examine carefully their own faults. Which I know they will not because they are so insecure with themselves they have to criticize complete strangers to make them feel worthy of themselves. For every human being who is like this, shut up and mind your own business!!!

  18. Geri Oort-Horsman February 4, 2013 at 7:12 pm Reply

    I cannot beleive that people think it is ok to talk about others that way, I guess the world has its share of stupid people.

  19. Jennifer Banks February 4, 2013 at 7:57 pm Reply

    AMEN!

  20. Blo Mama February 4, 2013 at 9:12 pm Reply

    mean people suck, and you are a rock star. that is all.

  21. Judy...your mom February 4, 2013 at 9:42 pm Reply

    You were amazing as a child and you’ve never lost it….your lucky mom

  22. Colleen Pomeroy February 4, 2013 at 9:44 pm Reply

    It was very nice MIss April and I am sorry you have to hear thouse words…..

  23. Melanie Z February 4, 2013 at 10:46 pm Reply

    And group of teenage boys once suggested that I belonged with the hippos in their habitat while we stopped to take pictures of them floating and doing cute hippo things. They made the mistake of saying this beside my fiancé. It took every ounce of strength he had not to throw them in for “my relatives” to take care of. Now when I hear him making any sort of comment about another woman, I remind him of that day and not to be like those guys. It is so easy to make stupid assumptions about people and way too easy to share those opinions. I was thinking up until I hit age 18 and then my hypothyroidism and bad eating habits got the best of me. 12 years later and I too need to lose 100 lbs to no longer be fat. I saw this posted by Charlene and just had to read it. Thank you for sharing!

  24. Wanda Cable February 5, 2013 at 12:40 am Reply

    I love what you write and how you effect so many people around you in so many positive ways. Thanks for being so encouraging to an un- encouraging world. You really do have something to say and I for one am glad you say it!!

  25. tracyanddrew February 5, 2013 at 7:13 am Reply

    You inspire and are truly a special person. Thank you for your courage to share and to believe in hope that people can be different – you are the change-agent opening hearts and viewpoints with your writing. Keep it up my superstar friend. Love you. xo

    • this mom's got something to say ... February 5, 2013 at 8:08 am Reply

      I’ve got awesome friends that encourage and inspire me. That’s whay important. Stupid ignorant words don’t matter … At all.

  26. Jo February 5, 2013 at 8:00 am Reply

    Sheesh, I must be hormonal, haha, I cried all the way through your letter!! Thanks for sharing this truly amazing story. I regrettably might not have been so brave. I don’t know you well, April, but you truly amaze me with your ability to reach people in such an unassuming way. Your commitment and willingness to open your home to people you don’t even know speaks volumes about you!! Not many people would be willing to do it. So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you (and God) for YOU!!

    • this mom's got something to say ... February 5, 2013 at 8:11 am Reply

      I am amazing at how many people are being affected by this letter. I’m so hopeful that my words are going to make a change in our world. If even one person thinks before they speak, I will have accomplished something. I am truly honored.

  27. Leah February 5, 2013 at 9:09 am Reply

    Love this. Love you. Love this. Love you. Love this. Love you. Forever.

  28. ifatimafaye February 5, 2013 at 9:52 am Reply

    Reblogged this on ifatimafaye.

  29. Sandra Pickhardt February 5, 2013 at 12:52 pm Reply

    Awesome….. Great letter…. I loved reading it and it is so true. People judge others without knowing them. People need to smarten up… Thanks for sharing

    • this mom's got something to say ... February 5, 2013 at 1:30 pm Reply

      Thanks!! People need to start recognizing that the only person that they can judge is themselves. (And even then need to take it easy).

  30. sagescenery February 5, 2013 at 4:45 pm Reply

    As a middle school teacher, my favorite saying was, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” to encourage kids to not purposely be cruel to another student! Now, I’d like to tell parents to teach their kids to be kind to everyone…Biblically, we’re taught to love even our enemies, and certainly because someone looks differently than us doesn’t make them our enemy…so why is it ok to be cruel?????

    Thanks for showing how it feels!

  31. Perception is nothing « Lifesavers February 5, 2013 at 10:34 pm Reply

    […] Perception is nothing […]

  32. Ralph Cowie February 6, 2013 at 5:59 am Reply

    From a grandfather—- Thank you for the great message. Your self-confidence and security will always be with you. Stupid, cruel remarks show the true nature of that person. Their own insecurity is showing. Some grow out of it and some never do. Hold your course and God will bless you.

  33. Lise van der Vaart February 6, 2013 at 6:57 am Reply

    Great Job April. I truly enjoyed reading it. So honest and bang on. You are an amazing writer. I took the liberty to share it on my FB page as I know it will cheer up some family and friends. Hope you do not mind

  34. Your cousin in Calgary February 6, 2013 at 7:15 am Reply

    I don’t hear those remarks – thank goodness – but I can’t shop for clothes in the usual ladies stores because of my size. A few years ago, I signed up for a short course on fashion and looking more stylish. The instructor didn’t have a single suggestion for a woman my size; it clearly hadn’t even entered her head that she might have a student like me. Lots of suggestions on where my classmates, including the petite one, could pick up cute outfits; not a hint about where I might shop for stuff. Lots of dressing suggestions for the other body types, but nothing for me.
    I paid money for this class. Not only was it a complete waste, but I was made to feel like an un-person. So I did my own flipping research and expanded my shopping horizons.

    • this mom's got something to say ... February 6, 2013 at 10:07 am Reply

      Oh brother. Heaven forbid someone that didn’t have a great body showed up and wanted fashion advice? That’s so sad, so very, very sad. I’m glad you found your way on your own.

  35. Darlene February 6, 2013 at 6:34 pm Reply

    There needs to be more people like you in the world. I always told my kids, and now tell their kids that they need to smile at someone every day. We don’t know what their life is like, and a smile only takes a second and it may be the only bright spot in their day. We can always find something nice to say, or, to repeat myself, just smile.

    • this mom's got something to say ... February 10, 2013 at 8:27 am Reply

      Thanks for the kind words … I’m hopeful that if we teach our kids more about grace and kindess that they’ll “get it” and this world will end up a much better place.

  36. Sheree February 10, 2013 at 7:47 am Reply

    All I can say is “WOW”. You’ve truly left me speechless with this well-written piece April (and that’s really hard to do, just ask anyone who knows me lol). BRAVO!!! 😀

  37. Amba February 16, 2013 at 11:10 pm Reply

    April! Your confidence and self-esteem are inspiring. You are not only an amazing writer, but clearly also a fantastic person 🙂 Kudos for doing everything that you do and still finding the time to write so well! Loved this post so much!

    • this mom's got something to say ... February 16, 2013 at 11:27 pm Reply

      Thank you so much for the kind words.

      • Amba February 16, 2013 at 11:31 pm

        I recommended this post for Freshly Pressed via Twitter. It really deserves it! 🙂

  38. fatgirlsfight February 19, 2013 at 1:35 pm Reply

    Reblogged this on fatgirlsfight.

  39. Reflections | What Jennifer Thinks June 3, 2013 at 9:00 am Reply

    […] recently read a blog about a woman who was called fat.  Someone who had been heavy all of her life.  She was quick to point out that she was happy, had […]

  40. […] A Letter from a Fat Girl to the World […]

  41. […] February, I wrote a blog post. I was angry and annoyed by the words of a small group of people who meant absolutely nothing to […]

  42. Daniel July 1, 2014 at 1:19 pm Reply

    As I always like to say, let he who is without cellulite, cast the first Twinkie!

  43. Teresa March 2, 2015 at 9:19 pm Reply

    Hi April, I can’t believe people can walk around still saying this stuff about others. I’ve never evere really looked at people like that. When I first met you, all can remember is you being really friendly and nice to me. That’s how you’ve been since the day I’ve met you. I know we dont keep in contact as much as we should, but I still consider you one of my closest friends. I wish I could speek or write as well as you. You are AWSOME and will always be!!

  44. […] is, I’ve written many of them myself, and more often than not, they’ve been about Fat Shaming and/or judging people based on their looks alone and then justifying it with “love”. […]

  45. […] Unless, you judge me based solely on my weight, then we’ve got a problem. You may remember this rant from a couple of years ago when I said something about the “look at the fat lady” jerky […]

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