I’ve been having a hard time writing my blog this week, as I’m struggling with the words I’m trying to say.
I went on vacation for Week 19, and overall, it was great. I mostly stayed on track, but definitely didn’t eat enough vegetables. It’s always the vegetables that slip me up, every stinking time. But, vacation was good, it was relaxing and restful, and it gave me some time to think and reflect.
When I told everyone that I was going on vacation, almost every person told me to just take the week off from my plan. To eat whatever I wanted and to just enjoy myself without worrying about food. It sounded like a good plan, and I almost considered it. BUT … I SO don’t want to go there.
I want to get to a place where food isn’t about rewards and punishments. I don’t want my week to be defined by a cheat day. Or special days. Or vacations.
My entire life has been about counting calories or completely ignoring them. It’s been feast or famine. It’s been eating when no ones watching or hiding empty package and wrappers. It’s been diet after diet, pills and programs, and all sorts of craziness. It’s been a life controlled by bad habits and backwards thinking, and I’m over it.
I just want to get to the place where food is food and nothing more.
My goal in starting this journey has always been about feeling better. Part of feeling better is getting my brain healthier and happier and not so bogged down by all of these crappy and messed up thoughts about food. I need to be aware of what I’m thinking, but food needs to stop being the currency that I use in my daily life.
I’m looking forward to the day when I’m just able to eat without fear, and to truly “feel” that eating one cookie doesn’t give me license to just eat the entire bag, because I already screwed my diet up. I want to wake up in the morning, and just be. I’ll have breakfast, lunch, dinner and it will be mostly healthy and balanced, and maybe I’ll have a cookie or two. I’ll go to bed without being consumed by the choices of my day. That is the place I want to be in. That is my goal.
I’m not only losing myself and finding me on this journey, I’m becoming a better version of the person I already am. I really like me right now BUT I know I’m really going to like the me that’s not afraid of a piece of cake.
What did these 2 weeks give me?
- I lost another 5 lbs and another inch or two.
- I found some awesome recipes that follow my plan and I enjoyed a burger ON A BUN. (Well it was kind of a bun, but it worked).
- A plan and a partner to help me finally conquer food prep and hopefully my vegetable issue.
- I didn’t lose my bathing suit in the pool, which I was fairly confident would happen because it’s now 3 sizes too big.
CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN? As always, remember that if you mention that you read my blog when you head into The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.