Tag Archives: fat

Winning at Week One

Well, my first week of Ideal Protein life has come to a close.

It went a whole lot better than I thought it would, a lot better. It’s amazing how much easier it is to be on a diet, without actually caring about how much weight you lose. There’s a weird freedom in that, a nice breathable kind of freedom.

When I look back on the week, the hardest thing about it was all the eating. For the first time, in a really long time, I made myself conscious of the choices I was making. I was eating on a schedule. I was satisfied when I was done and I felt hungry at the appropriate times. I wasn’t being controlled by food, I was controlling it. And frankly, it was kind of cool.

Day 3 & Day 4 were the days of massive headache. Apparently the body gets riled up and angry for a bit when you take away its crappy fuel source, and it starts burning its own fat stores. It wasn’t pretty, but some Advil, some salt and some electrolyte drinks later… I survived.

Day 5, I woke up and the inflammation in my hands was noticeably decreased. For anyone that knows me, they know that my hands hurt constantly, they swell, and I can’t overuse them or they just don’t work. I never would’ve thought that 5 days of nothing but good clean food, and no sugar would make such a difference in that particular area. Didn’t expect it, but I sure as heck appreciate it.

Day 6. I felt awake. Not the “I feel so tired” but now am awake kind of awake, but the kind where a fog has lifted and I can see.

Day 7.  Well it was just another day, and how awesome is that? I wasn’t focused on anything negative. It was just me, my veggies, my protein packs and it was a Monday. Who ever feels good on a Monday?

I really, truly didn’t feel like I was missing out on something this week. I didn’t feel like my life was ending because I couldn’t have an Iced Capp. I didn’t feel like I couldn’t do this. I felt like I was finally on my way to feeling better.

And now as I sit down to write about it, I’m actually having a really hard time finding the words to describe this past week, as my brain & my heart seem to have shifted. Shifted into a place or an attitude or a thought process that it’s never experienced before. I guess that drop into Rock Bottom turned something on. Or off. Whatever it did, I like it.

I’m super excited to see what the rest of 2017 brings. I’ve taken before pictures, weights and measurements and will share them some day. But not today.

For today, I give you this. My results from Week One. I’ve got less overall pain, less inflammation, a much brighter outlook, and I weigh 12.2 lbs less. I call that a good start to a good thing.

Week One. Win.

  • I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

Just say No to Tough-Love

Every day when you go online, you can expect to see a blog post or YouTube video or a status that is hacking on a specific group of people. Fat people, gay people, ugly people, old people, etc. It’s ongoing and constant, and pretty much always guaranteed to be there.

Similarly, you can also expect to find just as many posts and video’s reprimanding the people who wrote them and/or shared those posts followed closely by the encouraging posts that are meant to uplift and encourage the people who have been beaten down. They are everywhere.

Fact is, I’ve written many of them myself, and more often than not, they’ve been about Fat Shaming and/or judging people based on their looks alone and then justifying it with “love”. I’ve talked about Mom’s needing encouragement and not judgement, and about shutting-up without knowing all the information or owning your own crap.  Frankly, I’m tired of writing them. Not because I think they’re dumb posts, but because they even have to be written.

If you don’t like what I look like because I’m fat, don’t look at me. You also don’t need to share or make vulgar or vile videos telling me and everyone else how disgusting and horrible fat people are. And please, for the love of all things, don’t justify those videos and statements by concluding them with: “I only say this because I love you and I want you to live longer”. You can’t share a video filled with ignorant and horrible statements and then say, “excuse the language, but this is how I feel. I love you”.

The second you called me, or shared something by someone calling me fat & disgusting, you lost me.

The reality is, these “fat shaming” crap videos are based SOLELY on what I or the other million overweight people in this world, LOOK LIKE. The videos and rants are 100% inspired by what I look like and NOT who I am. These people don’t know me, they’ve never spoken to me or taken the time to get to know me. They don’t know my history, what I’ve been through and what I’m struggling with. They don’t know if I’m on medications, how many babies I’ve had, how much weight I’ve already lost, or what my personal goals and dreams are even about. They ONLY “know” what I look like. That seems to be the point that everyone misses, these posts & diatribes have nothing to do with how much you love me and/or worry about me, they’re about my appearance.

Am I saying that being overweight is healthier than being a “normal” weight, nope, I’m not saying that. Am I saying that you have no idea what my normal, or anyone else’s is for that matter, Yes, I am. Am I saying that I don’t have room for improvement and could make healthier choices for myself, no I’m not. Am I saying that ignorance veiled as motivation is wrong, I most certainly am.

But what I’m mostly saying is that you don’t need to be a jerk when sharing your opinion. We all have things we need to fix in our lives, in our bodies, in our hearts and in our brains. Sometimes these hurdles are massive and will take every single bit of strength that we possess, and no amount of tough love will push the majority of us over those hurdles. Fact is, they make many of us want to run in the opposite direction of what you’re “selling”.

Will mean words, quotes and Old Testament bible verses make someone less gay? Will beauty tips, jokes and rude memes make your perceived ugly person more beautiful in your eyes? Will stats about diabetes and heart disease, or pictures of people in bikinis and funny nicknames make me want to run to the gym? Will your strong personal opinions and preferences build up the people around you or push them farther into the walls that they’ve built up to protect them from all of the world’s nonsense? Think about those things before you take the time to “love someone better”.

MY weight doesn’t change YOUR quality of life. How someone LOOKS doesn’t change the number of days that you have on this earth. If your neighbour is gay, it doesn’t make YOUR faith in God or church any less personal. I am responsible for every choice that I make, and at some point, I will have to answer for them, whether it’s in a doctor’s office or at the Pearly Gates. But please recognize that those choices are MINE, and that your opinion of me and the rooftops that you scream them off will only affect your “end”, not mine.

We shouldn’t have to write posts to lift each other up because the world has judged us so harshly. Be nice, be kind and be an example. We are adults, not small children and need to remember to honour the differences that make us individuals. Live YOUR life to the best of your ability, and let me worry about the story I’m writing for myself. Send love, good wishes, and happy, healthy thoughts, but please keep the “judge-y love” packages to yourself.

Let love & grace be your witness, cause those are the things I want my life to be about.

Skinny is not a personality trait, it’s just packaging.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be encouraged Fatty. Bah.

I was just tagged in another one of those, supposed to be inspirational and kind posts written by a skinny person, giving me permission to be okay with being fat.

It’s not too different from the post written by the person working out in the gym that says, I see you and all your fatness working out, and you’re so awesome. Keep it up.

Which is quite similar to the posts telling me not to let my weight get me down, and that I’ve got such a pretty face that my size doesn’t really matter. (I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been told this one).

Sigh. I hate those posts. I hate those comments. And this is why.

They’re stupid and they shouldn’t need to even be written.

People’s sizes and/or appearance shouldn’t be the fodder for your next “make yourself feel better” post.

Sure, I suppose the thought behind them is to be one of encouragement and acceptance, but that’s not what they’re saying at all. They’re saying … I see you as a fat person, first and foremost. The FIRST thing you saw when you looked at your subject matter was that they were Fat. And that ONE FACTOR alone inspired you to write a whole commentary about them. That is what makes me mad and sad and annoyed. Fat isn’t all that I am.

Yes, you spotted me in a gym, but I’m pretty sure there are lots of other people there too. Do you make comments about the super skinny girl who can do nothing but ride bikes because she doesn’t have a lot of muscle mass. Do you feel inspired to write about the guy that is “normal” sized but just came to the gym for the first time in his life? Probably not because frankly, their “stories” aren’t as obvious and easy to pick out.

Why can’t you just look around the room and think, Wow, there’s a lot of people here today working on getting healthy and then go about your own workout without waxing poetic?

I don’t go to the hairdresser and comment about the lady with the horribly whacked out hair with more grey roots than blonde flowing locks. I’m not all “I see you with the sad and desperate hair coming to the salon with it all hidden in a ball cap. It’s okay, I understand. I’m happy that you’re stepping up to fix that mess”.

I don’t go for a pedicure and then come home and write a post about the lady with the horrible cracked heels, and hairy toes. “I see you and your slovenly feet, all tired and dirty and forlorn. I know how embarrassed you must’ve been to leave your house this morning to come here. But thank-you for being brave enough to come”.

Yes, those things are stupid, but there’s no difference.

Look at me as a person, not as a shape or a colour, but as a person. If, by some miracle I ever get up and go to the gym, don’t look at me as the fat chick. Look at me as one of your peers that is taking the same steps as you.

Period.

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The Road to Skinny …. Following the Rules

Well, yesterday was my bi-weekly weigh-in and the results were pretty good.

I spent the last 2 weeks actually following all of my coaches orders. I ate, and I ate, and I ate. More food than I’ve eaten in a really long time. I took my vitamins, drank copious amounts of water and did exactly what I was supposed to do.

Overall, I felt great, outside of this evil sinus infection that just. won’t. die. I slept well, still didn’t convince myself to exercise, but I made it through another 2 weeks. Yeah Me!

I lost another 9lb’s and 6 more inches. And even better news, my body fat percentage went down which means I’m not losing lean mass, which means I’m doing the right thing for my body.

This year WILL be the final chapter in my Fat April story. I know it, I feel it and I love it.

Last week, I also joined a great little group on Facebook called Mission Slim Possible. It’s a bunch of people wanting to achieve some big goals this year – health & exercise wise. They’re all there to support and encourage and lift each other up. They’re going to inspire me to exercise … hasn’t happened yet, but it will. LOL. I did manage to download a 7 minute exercise app though, so that counts for something right?? (Yes, I’m that lazy that I count that action as exercise).

I’m grateful for their honest and open hearts, and their daily words of encouragement. Our stories are all very different but our goals are the same. We all want more. We all want better. We all want change.

Wherever you are in your “get skinny/healthy” journey, find yourself a support system somewhere. If it can’t be your spouse, find a good friend. If your friends are as unmotivated as you are, find a group of workout buddies. Just find something or someone to help you get through this adventure. If you’re in the same boat as me, the journey will be long and tough, and not one you can do on your own.

Thankfully, I’m blessed with a good husband, great friends and an awesome coach. They are the voices that push me forward and remind me of my goals. They are my gifts in this world.

Who’s your helper? Go find one. Now.

See you in 2 weeks.

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IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you.

The Road to Skinny … Keep on Keeping On

One year has come and gone, and I’m half way to my goal. I hoped to be much farther along, but half way is what I achieved, and well, I’m okay with that.

This has been my year for self–discovery and I think if I would’ve lost more, faster, I wouldn’t have figured some things out. I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to taking care of myself, and even though I always knew that, I don’t think I truly got it. Now I do.

By nature, I put others before myself. In all things, and in all ways. I don’t see that changing, but I now see that I have to find some time for me in there somewhere. I know that If I’m going to be of any use to anyone, I need to be okay. Physically, mentally, spiritually and health wise … I have to claim these things for myself and stop ignoring their importance. I’m such a twit sometimes.

I spend a tonne of time thinking about food, but very little time eating it. I had no idea how little I actually ate in a day, until I had to keep track of it. It’s such a weird thing to wrap my head around as here I was a fat girl basically living in a state of malnutrition. So crazy. Now, I struggle with the same thing but in a different way. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I can’t live on nachos and cupcakes, so I just kind of don’t really care about food. I still hate 94% of all veggies, so getting good healthy food into my body is fairly challenging some days.

I know what I need to do to be healthy, but my brain doesn’t always seem to want to agree. I know what I have to eat, the supplements I need to take, and the exercise that I must do but I still fight it. It’s so stupid, but everyday I have to MAKE myself choose better.

I’m lazy. Not when it comes to life, or business, or helping others, but when it comes to me. I have zero desire to exercise or get off the couch. Zero desire. It’s almost scary.

I’m ready to change things. I always thought I was, but looking back, I really wasn’t. I’m there now, and excited that this lifelong journey will be coming to an end. 40 years of being overweight, and not all that healthy are coming to an end. 2013 was the year I lost 70lbs, 2014 is going to be the year that “healthy” becomes my normal.

I’m officially back on Ideal Protein, and actually listening to my coaches. (I never quit the program, I just wasn’t following all the rules. As in wasn’t eating nearly enough, not taking my vitamins, etc., etc.). I still absolutely love the program and know that it’s the right thing for me, so I’m excited to continue on it.

I’m getting weighed in and measured every 2 weeks, and will report back here to all of you. Not just about pounds and inches, but how I’m feeling, how my brain is doing and the goals for the next couple of weeks. Hopefully, that little bit of accountability and effort will keep me focused on where I’m going. Thanks in advance for being a part of my “team”.

Now to stop being my own stumbling block, and to get this DONE.

Shut-up head, you’re no longer driving this bus.

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IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you.

Protein is my Friend, but I want a Cupcake.

Well, I’m into week three and still cruising along. I’m losing pounds and inches and will share those numbers with you next week at my one month check-in. Think happy “lighter” thoughts for me.  🙂

Overall, things are going well, but this week I noticed that I’m starting to miss things. I’m trying to not focus on them or think about them, but I’m finding it rather annoying. I want to just eat nachos and would kill for an Iced Capp, but instead I drink water. I want cheese and toast more than words can even describe, but instead I eat my Jell-O. 

I want out of this body and into a new one, so I keep pressing on. This is hard, but I know I’m heading in the right direction and that is what I’m holding onto. (Even though I’d rather be holding onto a piece of pizza at this moment).

I’m still amazed at how NOT hungry I am, and how much better I feel. My head is clearer than it’s ever been, and I’m starting to be able to see the changes in my face and body. I’m also needing to buy new clothes and especially underwear as I’m not a real fan of having to hold my underwear up while I walk. My plan is to wait until I lose 50 pounds before I do a big shopping spree though, but will have to give in and buy underwear before then.

My one complaint is that I’m having a hard time sleeping. I sleep on my side, and now that I’ve lost about 10 inches off my waist, I feel like I’m falling over. Seems so stupid, but it’s true. I’ve got to shove body pillows all around me so I feel steady and don’t keep leaning over. It’s such a strange problem to have, but I’ll take it.

I’ve managed to not cheat at all …. well, kinda. This weekend we had a Canada Day party and there were cupcakes, chocolate ones with lots of icing. They were beautiful and looked so good, but I didn’t have any. Instead, I had a glass of Coke Zero. I admit it, I failed this week but I’m okay with the choice I made and I’m fairly confident that I’ll end up making that same choice again.

So now we keep on keeping on … the Road to Skinny and Healthy continues.  Thanks for following along.

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IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you. 

Small Disclaimer at Bottom of Post: I am being compensated for sharing my Ideal Protein story with you.

My Ideal Journey Begins

Surprise, I’ve started a new diet program. And an even bigger surprise, I’m actually happy about it. Today was my one week “anniversary” of starting the program, and my results are pretty amazing. But let’s go back a bit.

About a month ago, my friend Josline approached me and asked me if I’d heard of the Ideal Protein diet. I had heard about it, but hadn’t really put too much thought into it as I was thinking it was similar to Bernstein, and I CANNOT afford to go down that road again. She let me know it wasn’t like that at all and set me straight. We had a long chat about it and she explained how it worked, and how it would not only help me lose weight but help me feel better. For me, that was a big deal.

I’ve let go of my “need to be skinny”, and have more or less accepted how I look. What I’m not happy about is how stinkin’ crappy I feel all the time. I gain weight and I lose weight constantly. I suffer from headaches, food sensitivities, stomach problems, random pain, etc, etc. And frankly, it’s gotten really old. I’d like to say that my weight has nothing to do with all my issues, but I think that would be naïve. So I began this journey with the intention of changing my life, it’s not about skinny, it’s about getting healthy.

So, why Ideal Protein? Well, for me, it’s actually pretty simple. Number One. I’m lazy. Number Two. I HATE cooking and preparing food, so I quite often end up eating nothing until it’s midnight and I’m starving. Nachos and pop are oh so good at that time of the day, or toast, oh how I love toast. And well, that seems to just be making me fatter and sicker. I need quick and easy and ready for me. Ideal Protein gives me exactly that.

With this plan, I get 3-4 protein “packs” per day. There’s a tonne of different packs to choose from, so I’m able to actually get a pretty decent variety of foods to eat throughout the week. There’s shakes, bars, soups, crunchy snacks, puddings, pancakes, oatmeal, etc. I also get to have a schwackload of vegetables and as much lettuce as I want to eat. As a bonus, at supper, I get to sit down and eat with my family. I don’t get the pasta and/or potatoes that they’re eating, but I do get the meat and veggies. So before people question, yes, I’m eating real food, lots of it. Difference being, I’m not eating any fast food or sugar.

When I went into the clinic to meet my coach Kerri, I was weighed, measured and fat tested. And let me tell you, that’s a fun time. Nothing like finding out that your body is made of almost 50% fat, which I’m sure is wrong as I think it’s actually happiness and joy that fill me out, not fat. Just sayin’.  😉 She gave me this fancy little shopping bag, a shaker cup and helped me pick out all my food for the week. I also got a bunch of vitamins and some special salt for my food. I came home with everything and a little journal to write down what I eat, how much water I drink and how I was feeling each day. I ate the last piece of my birthday cake, read all the diet tips and prepared myself to begin the next day.

        

My first two days were horrific. My body was detoxing and apparently when your body is deprived of the Coke Zero that has become it’s lifeblood, it’s not happy. I basically had a headache so bad that I could hardly see, and just felt like death warmed over. And I was hungry, hangry kinda hungry. But when I woke up on day three, the world was a much brighter happier place. Just a slight headache, and not nearly as hungry. Day four – not even remotely hungry and having to remind myself to eat.

It’s not easy, nothing worth doing ever is, but I’m doing it and it feels good. I’m loving that I’m able to grab something to eat on the fly, instead of just living on diet pop. I’m actually putting good, healthy food into my body as opposed to McDonalds, Iced Capps and my special friend Coke Zero. I actually ate a raw pepper the other day. And apparently, I don’t need to put ketchup on everything. Who knew food would still taste good when it wasn’t covered in sauces or sugar? I sure didn’t.

Back to my one week anniversary. Well, I lost 8 lbs and 8.5″. Not too shabby at all and it’s definitely all the encouragement I need to keep moving forward. I also haven’t had a headache in 3 days, and that’s HUGE. 8lbs is nice, not having to lay in a room with my eyes shut for hours, is even nicer.

I’m going to be blogging my journey in hopes that it will keep me a little bit more accountable and “aware” of myself. I’ll blog weekly but you can also follow along with me on Twitter. I’ll be using the hash tag #idealapril and I’ll be brutally honest about what’s going on with me each day. 

I’m REALLY bad at taking care of myself, and I’m going to need all of you reminding me to put me FIRST. It’s been a long time since I’ve done exactly that, and it’s time.

IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you. 

Small Disclaimer at Bottom of Post: I am being compensated for sharing my Ideal Protein story with you.