Tag Archives: getting healthy

The Week 16 Woosh

It’s been 4 months since I started this new way of eating and living, and if I’m being completely honest, it’s been the longest and shortest 16 weeks of my life. I realize that makes zero sense, but let me explain.

When I started this, all I wanted was to just feel better. To have less pain and more good days than bad days. Less headaches, less shaking and a much clearer head. Losing weight was just going to be a side effect of all the new healthy choices that I was making. Getting skinny was never my goal.

But then it got hard, really hard.

I was feeling better, which I was very thankful for. But the “side effects” that I was trying desperately not to focus on were becoming my measurement of success. These things were tangible. I could look in a mirror and see a difference. I could stand on the scale and watch the numbers go down. I could buy smaller clothes. I could pick up something off the floor without feeling like my body was in the way. These things suddenly mean something to me. My weight has become my measure of success.

In saying that though, I still don’t care what I weigh. Not the number anyway, well I think I don’t care. I like that the numbers are getting smaller, but I still have no idea what the number ever is. My coach always says Good Job, and I always have to ask if I lost. I really couldn’t tell you what I weigh. My weightloss has now become my measure of success, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I really don’t want to focus on my weight because the rest of the world already does enough of that for me, but my brain is feeling something different from what my heart wants. My head is in such a weird place as I try to work through all of these changes. I’ve never spent this much time trying to focus on myself and my needs. I’ve never really paid all that much attention to what I ate. Or what I did or didn’t do physically. Now I’ve got a coach that wants to know what and when I’m eating, and an Apple Watch that is constantly beeping at me telling me to stand up and move, or to Breathe and focus. This is, without question, the strangest place I’ve ever been.

Strange but good, and incredibly difficult all at the same time.

I’m having a hard time eating all the healthy food that I’m supposed to because it seems like it takes forever to chew it all. I used to have no problem eating 3 times the same amount in crappy food, and now when I look at my plate filled with goodness, I feel overwhelmed. Why do nachos and cactus cut fries just slide down your throat so easily anyways? I used to be able to drink 4 or 5 refills of Diet Coke when I’d go out for dinner, and now I can hardly get through 2 glasses of ice water. I’m not avoiding the good food, it just seems like it’s so much harder to eat. Maybe this is what satiated and full actually feels like. Hhhmmm….weird.

In spite of all these crazy thoughts, these 16 weeks have flown right by. I absolutely love Ideal Protein and the support that I’m getting, and I’m looking forward to all that comes in the next part of my journey.

I’m hopeful that the next 16 weeks will be where my “choices” become habits and that I won’t have to think about them quite so hard. That I will finally be able to shop in ANY store and not just the plus-size ones. That I will start to appreciate cooking a whole lot more. And that I will finally be able to stop thinking of myself as being on a diet.

I’m looking forward to just being.

What did Week 16 bring me?

  • A week in Banff with the Husband AND I stayed on plan. (I ignored the call of the Beaver Tail)
  • A new point of view in my brain
  • A new appreciation for cauliflower and how easily it can be turned into something super tasty.
  • I ate ALL my food this week, and I lost 6 more pounds. Guess eating does effect your weight. LOL.

 

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  As always, remember that if you mention that you read my blog when you head into  The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.

Week Six and Not enough Lettuce on the Mountain

Week Six started with me not getting weighed in at the completion of Week Five. In hindsight, I should have made time for my weekly check-in & reminder to take care of myself. Apparently, I need to hear those words repeatedly because I still suck at it.

I was so proud of myself this trip because I pre-planned every meal for my family. Right down to the condiments and seasonings. I have never been that organized and prepared for a vacation before and I was looking forward to everything going smoothly. And it did, until we sat down to eat supper and I realized that I couldn’t eat the food I’d prepared.

I’d actually forgotten to plan for myself.

By the middle of the week, I’d run out of fresh veggies and started my usual pattern of non-eating. I drank a lot of water, ate my protein packs and lean protein. And then I had a burger. With a bun.

I fessed up to my coach, and his response was, “Could you have just not eaten the bun”?

Why, yes, yes I could’ve done that. But I didn’t. In all honesty, it didn’t even cross my mind to not eat the bun. It was a good bun, which I’m now craving. Which is a problem.

The crazy thing about all of this is that I don’t feel deprived or that I’m missing out on anything. I don’t feel all woe is me or sad about the decisions that I’ve made to follow this plan. I don’t really want and most certainly don’t need the things I’ve given up. My fight is against old habits, and automatic reactions and motions that my brain and body just seem to do on their own.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone through a drive-through with my family and ordered myself something, only to throw it away once it’s in my hands. I’ve bought myself a drink, only to remember that I shouldn’t be drinking it once the straw is in my mouth. Or the burger that I’m about to eat while we drive to yet another appointment. It’s just another weird thing that I’m slowly working though. Old habits really, truly die hard. I am happy to report though that not a single drop of Tim Hortons Iced Capp goodness has actually crossed my lips in over 6 weeks, even though I’ve ordered a few. LOL.

My week on the side of a mountain was wonderful but I’m home now and all is right in my world. I’m back on track. I’ve got a fridge full of veggies and had my weekly reprimand and encouragement. It’s nice knowing that even though I didn’t do all that I needed to do, I’m still okay and I can still keep going. There’s a really nice peace in that.

No guilt and no regrets. Just another reminder that I need to think of myself sometimes. Not always first, but at least in the list somewhere.

That’s my challenge this week. Figure out how to be a Mom to Many without throwing myself to the bottom of the pile while I lift them up. This is going to be hard. But doable right?

Week Six brought me these gifts:

~ I lost almost 6 pounds.

~ The realization that I need new pants because I’m starting to look like I borrowed all mine from a very large lumberjack.

~ A great week with my family. Hamburger bun and all. I am blessed.

 

 

  • PLEASE JOIN ME. I can always use a buddy that’s in this with me. I’ve got an excellent coach in Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

Week Five. Ankles & Impossibilities

After being in 2 car accidents within 6 months, I was diagnosed with Trauma-Induced Fibromyalgia 2 years ago. Since then, I’ve been swollen, inflamed and in pain. My hands, my wrist and my ankles have been constantly “puffy” for lack of a better word. It has sucked.

But since I’ve started Ideal Protein, the swelling and the pain have decreased dramatically. Dramatically. And now, I have ankles. I guess they were always there, but I can now see them and they’re just not a swollen mass at the bottom of my leg.

It’s not a big deal, but it’s something. It’s a reminder that I’m actually getting somewhere and that I’m getting better. These past 2 weeks have been hard, so looking down and seeing my ankle is exactly what I needed to see.

I made a commitment to follow this plan and make this my year, and I still mean it. I also know, without a doubt that I will finish what I’ve started. But this week, it’s been hard remembering that.

This has been a week of me seeing this massive goal that I’ve set for myself, and I’ve questioned my ability to power through it. And if I’m actually insane to think that it’s even possible. Is it actually an impossible task?

I’ve been overweight my entire life and unhealthy for almost as long, so it’s really hard for me to imagine myself as anything other than who I am now. It’s hard to envision something and stay focused on it when you’ve never seen or felt it before. I’m reaching for something that has never existed in my world. It’s a strange feeling.

I’m at the beginning of a seemingly impossible and ridiculously hard journey, but I’m still on it. I’m still going. And in spite of all my messed up and crazy thinking, I have ankles. That is good enough. For now.

Week Five Wrap-Up:

  • I’ve got no results to share with you as I went on vacation instead of getting weighed-in. 🙂
  • Swelling is still going down.
  • Almost everyone is now commenting that I look better. Not skinnier, but better. Which I like.
  • I haven’t quit. I haven’t given up. I am still here.
  • Impossible? We shall see.

 

 

  • PLEASE JOIN ME. I can always use a buddy that’s in this with me. I’ve got an excellent coach in Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Winning at Week One

Well, my first week of Ideal Protein life has come to a close.

It went a whole lot better than I thought it would, a lot better. It’s amazing how much easier it is to be on a diet, without actually caring about how much weight you lose. There’s a weird freedom in that, a nice breathable kind of freedom.

When I look back on the week, the hardest thing about it was all the eating. For the first time, in a really long time, I made myself conscious of the choices I was making. I was eating on a schedule. I was satisfied when I was done and I felt hungry at the appropriate times. I wasn’t being controlled by food, I was controlling it. And frankly, it was kind of cool.

Day 3 & Day 4 were the days of massive headache. Apparently the body gets riled up and angry for a bit when you take away its crappy fuel source, and it starts burning its own fat stores. It wasn’t pretty, but some Advil, some salt and some electrolyte drinks later… I survived.

Day 5, I woke up and the inflammation in my hands was noticeably decreased. For anyone that knows me, they know that my hands hurt constantly, they swell, and I can’t overuse them or they just don’t work. I never would’ve thought that 5 days of nothing but good clean food, and no sugar would make such a difference in that particular area. Didn’t expect it, but I sure as heck appreciate it.

Day 6. I felt awake. Not the “I feel so tired” but now am awake kind of awake, but the kind where a fog has lifted and I can see.

Day 7.  Well it was just another day, and how awesome is that? I wasn’t focused on anything negative. It was just me, my veggies, my protein packs and it was a Monday. Who ever feels good on a Monday?

I really, truly didn’t feel like I was missing out on something this week. I didn’t feel like my life was ending because I couldn’t have an Iced Capp. I didn’t feel like I couldn’t do this. I felt like I was finally on my way to feeling better.

And now as I sit down to write about it, I’m actually having a really hard time finding the words to describe this past week, as my brain & my heart seem to have shifted. Shifted into a place or an attitude or a thought process that it’s never experienced before. I guess that drop into Rock Bottom turned something on. Or off. Whatever it did, I like it.

I’m super excited to see what the rest of 2017 brings. I’ve taken before pictures, weights and measurements and will share them some day. But not today.

For today, I give you this. My results from Week One. I’ve got less overall pain, less inflammation, a much brighter outlook, and I weigh 12.2 lbs less. I call that a good start to a good thing.

Week One. Win.

  • I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

The Road to Skinny …. I am So NOT Thirsty

I’m happy to report that I’m still trucking along on my road to skinny healthy, and overall I’m doing great. I’m down 12 pounds so far, I’ve managed to take my vitamins everyday, and I’m still riding my stupid exercise bike. I’m drinking water … ALL THE TIME. And for the first time in my life, I’m not thirsty and craving diet pop. Truth be told, I’d still prefer Coke Zero, but instead I’m drowning myself in water. Yeah Me.

I’m obviously still not in love with my new life, but I know that I’m on the right track. I know that the steps that I am taking are steps that I’m going to be able to continue taking for the rest of my life.  Fad diets and quick-fix things are no longer an option. This journey is going to take a whole lot longer than I’d like it to, and I’m REALLY trying to not think about it, but it is what it is. I’ve finally accepted that “this diet” isn’t just something that I’m doing, it’s MY forever, and I’m actually okay with it.

I’m not an unhappy and miserable fat person. I’m a very blessed woman and am surrounded by fabulous people.  I’ve had horrible things happen to me and I’ve lived through them. My mother is overweight and so was her mother. I’ve got genetics and bad experiences working against me. But I have nothing to blame my size on except myself. I put the food in my mouth, and I sat on the couch. I want to be able to say “I’m fat because ….” but I can’t. It’s time for me and quite possibly you, to own that.  Stop letting circumstance determine your future, it hasn’t worked until now, so give it a rest. It’s time to take control of our lives, suck it up, and choose better.

I have bad days and good days, but I don’t let either control me anymore. If I eat something I’m not supposed to, oh well. In fact, instead of tormenting myself with cookies and eating my way around them until I go back and eat 6 of them, I eat one and just be done with it. If I don’t exercise long enough or not at all, I’m not giving up and throwing in the towel, I start again the next day. Seems like a stupid little thing, but let me tell you, THIS IS HUGE. I’m owning where I’m at and where I’m going. It feels good.

My hope for those of you taking this same journey as me, is this. Be kind to yourself. Recognize that an entire lifetime cannot be fixed in a day. When you screw up, accept it, pick yourself up and do not quit. Make one “better” choice everyday. And please for the love of all things holy, stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog.

And now I’m off to drink more water.

Benice