Today wrapped up Week 4 in my new and exciting journey. It wasn’t a super great week for me, and it didn’t end as I hoped it would. But it did end, and it’s reminded me of exactly why I started this journey in the first place.
It’s Me. I fail miserably at taking care of myself, and I’ve got to figure out a way to change that. Change my brain. Change the way that I think about myself. Change from being number 42 on the importance scale to at least a 2 or 3.
I’m still totally enjoying Ideal Protein and the program. I love that it’s simple and straightforward, and that I don’t have to be some Masterchef to follow the plan closely. I haven’t cheated. I’m not craving sugar like a maniac. I’m not eating just to eat. I’m doing good for the most part.
Where I’m failing, is that I’m falling back into a pattern of not eating. I get busy, and distracted and I just don’t eat. 2 days this week, I literally ate nothing until 6:30pm, and even then, it wasn’t enough. I set alarms in my phone, and then I shut them off because I’m busy. My husband calls me and asks me if I’ve eaten, and I usually have to answer no. It’s just the weirdest thing, why don’t I eat?
Is it because I’m a Mom? That I currently have 7 kids and have so many other things to think about? Is it because I can’t have Iced Capp’s & Nachos, so I choose nothing instead? Is it because I just suck at caring about myself? Is it any of these reasons or is it a combination of all them? I really don’t know, but I really want to fix it.
How does someone switch from putting others first to putting themselves first? How exactly does one do that?
For now, I will set alarms and I will listen to them. I will try and be more conscious of what I’m doing or not doing. I will try and wake up believing that I’m not Mom first and that it’s okay for my kids to come second sometimes. That’s where I’m going to start.
To wrap up Week Four:
I gained 1 pound. But more importantly, I saw what not eating actually does to my body.
My constant pain is almost not constant. I still tire quickly, and if I overuse my muscles, it takes them a bit to recover. But I’m not in pain all the time and that’s so stinking awesome.
In one month: I lost a total of 14 pounds, 6.5 inches, a whole lotta pain, my sugar cravings, and the fear of being able to do something this difficult.
And inside that loss, I found the beginning of something amazing. I found out things about myself that I need to change, and things that I want to let go of completely. I found out that even though I live an amazing life, I deserve more and so does my family. That content isn’t good enough anymore.
Guess it’s time to put on my own life preserver before trying to save anyone else.
- JOIN ME. I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.