Tag Archives: just a mom

Week Four and Lessons Learned

Today wrapped up Week 4 in my new and exciting journey. It wasn’t a super great week for me, and it didn’t end as I hoped it would. But it did end, and it’s reminded me of exactly why I started this journey in the first place.

It’s Me. I fail miserably at taking care of myself, and I’ve got to figure out a way to change that. Change my brain. Change the way that I think about myself. Change from being number 42 on the importance scale to at least a 2 or 3.

I’m still totally enjoying Ideal Protein and the program. I love that it’s simple and straightforward, and that I don’t have to be some Masterchef to follow the plan closely. I haven’t cheated. I’m not craving sugar like a maniac. I’m not eating just to eat. I’m doing good for the most part.

Where I’m failing, is that I’m falling back into a pattern of not eating. I get busy, and distracted and I just don’t eat. 2 days this week, I literally ate nothing until 6:30pm, and even then, it wasn’t enough. I set alarms in my phone, and then I shut them off because I’m busy. My husband calls me and asks me if I’ve eaten, and I usually have to answer no. It’s just the weirdest thing, why don’t I eat?

Is it because I’m a Mom? That I currently have 7 kids and have so many other things to think about? Is it because I can’t have Iced Capp’s & Nachos, so I choose nothing instead? Is it because I just suck at caring about myself? Is it any of these reasons or is it a combination of all them? I really don’t know, but I really want to fix it.

How does someone switch from putting others first to putting themselves first? How exactly does one do that?

For now, I will set alarms and I will listen to them. I will try and be more conscious of what I’m doing or not doing. I will try and wake up believing that I’m not Mom first and that it’s okay for my kids to come second sometimes. That’s where I’m going to start.

To wrap up Week Four:

I gained 1 pound. But more importantly, I saw what not eating actually does to my body.

My constant pain is almost not constant. I still tire quickly, and if I overuse my muscles, it takes them a bit to recover. But I’m not in pain all the time and that’s so stinking awesome.

In one month: I lost a total of 14 pounds, 6.5 inches, a whole lotta pain, my sugar cravings, and the fear of being able to do something this difficult.

And inside that loss, I found the beginning of something amazing. I found out things about myself that I need to change, and things that I want to let go of completely. I found out that even though I live an amazing life, I deserve more and so does my family. That content isn’t good enough anymore.

Guess it’s time to put on my own life preserver before trying to save anyone else.

 

 

  • JOIN ME.  I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Just a Mom.

I was 20 years old when I met my future husband. I had never lived by myself or with friends, and in fact, still lived with my parents. I’d never attended college or been anywhere farther east than Saskatchewan. I was a daughter and a sister, and most certainly not even considering becoming a mother.  Almost exactly one year later, I married my best friend. I was now a wife.

We moved to a new city, 5 hours away from everything I knew. I had no friends, no job and no idea what I was going to “be when I grew up”. I can remember the quietness of my new house and it made me insane. I had left a household of 8 people and had become a family of 2. I had to leave the TV on all the time just so I could have background noise and didn’t have to talk to myself. I was young and in love, a little unsure of myself and kinda lost, but I was happy. And then I was a Mom.

I fell madly in love with this little person. She filled my days with joy, smiles and giggles. She made my nights sleepless and seemingly never-ending. She made me happy and I was so proud to call her mine. As she grew and my life changed, something inside of me was awakening. I was surrounded by children, some mine, and some that were loaned to me to parent. I was still happily married to a very good man. I had a very good life, but something was missing.

I can remember sitting there and thinking about all of the things that I hadn’t done in my life. I hadn’t lived on my own. I’d never gone to school. I’d never gone off to see the world and experience fun and exciting things. I had never just been “me”, as in me, myself and I. I had become someone else. I was Just. A. Mom.

For some reason that terrified me. Was that all I was ever going to be? Would that be the only thing people remembered me for? Why wasn’t that good enough? Why did I “need” to be more than that? Suddenly I was questioning everything about myself and all that I knew, and then, I woke up.

Yes, I am a Mother, but I most certainly am not “Just a Mom”.

I am responsible for helping little people become all that they think they can be, and then a little bit more. I am quite possibly raising a future world leader. I am teaching my children about equality and respect and grace. I am showing them that nobody is better than anyone else. I am giving them the confidence to stand up for themselves and the people around them. I am lifting them up when the world beats them down. I am rescuing children from horrible circumstances and giving them a brighter future. I am making promises to love them and support them in whatever they choose to do or wherever they choose to go. I am preparing them for the hard decisions that they will have to make. I am giving them my words when they don’t have their own. I am molding and shaping the gifts that God gave me. I am changing the world.

I have the hardest, scariest, toughest, most exciting, fun and fulfilling job ever. I get no pay, no vacation or sick days. I have many awesome days and just as many horrible ones. I witness life changing moments. I am unconditonally loved even when I don’t always deserve it. I get to laugh and cry and tell stupid jokes.  I have been blessed with something that many women will never get the joy of experiencing. Who am I to question the value of what I do? I am a very blessed woman and a darn good Mom.

So, to all the “Just a Moms”, the Mom’s to be and the Mom’s that want nothing more than just have the opportunity to try. Never, ever doubt your worth. Never, ever question your role and the importance that it carries. Never look back and question “what if”? You are exactly where you’re supposed to be, cherish it and enjoy the ride. Happy Mothers Day to all of you!