Tag Archives: mean

J is for Just Joking

Just Joking. One of my most despised phrases.

You’re so ugly … just joking. You’re too fat … just joking. You’re a great singer … just joking. You’re so stupid … just joking.

I hate that this simple phrase seems to give people the freedom to say whatever the heck they want. Even if it hurts the other person to their very core, somehow it’s justified because your ignorance was wiped clean with a “just joking”.

Why do people feel the need to point out someone’s biggest fault or weakness? Why do we have to make someone else feel worse about themselves in order to make ourselves feel better? If your self-esteem is so low that belittling someone else makes you happy, change that. Read a self-esteem book, go to counselling, or just choose better.

Please do me a favour. If you have the urge to say something and follow it up with a “Just Joking”, don’t. Or if you choose to invoke just joking’s cousins, “No offense” and “I don’t mean to be rude”, stop. If you’re brave enough to make a defamatory statement, suck it up and take what’s coming right back at you.

These simple phrases don’t give you the right to push someone else down. And frankly, if you insist on using them, you’re the weak one.

 

This post is Day 12 of the Summer Blog Challenge – 31 posts in 31 Days

Please visit my fellow challenge bloggers and read their stories.

Meaghan at Magz D Life
Tam at Tam I Am 
Liam at In The Now
 Jessica at2plus2X2

Save the Drama for your Mama.

Drama. It’s everywhere, it’s annoying and it doesn’t seem to be going away. Facebook and Twitter seem to be a breeding ground for stupid, and I am constantly shocked by all of the things I read on a daily basis. It really is sickening and wrong, and frankly, pathetic.

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks watching friends and acquaintances get attacked and wrung through the ringer. I’ve seen people be disgustingly abusive and ignorant. I’ve seen incredibly intelligent people get caught up in other people’s “attention seeking” displays of crazy. I’ve deleted really inappropriate and graphic pictures on my page and my childrens.   I’ve also just had to unfriended a handful of really mean & ignorant “friends”.  I’ve said nothing.

Until now.

If you go on Facebook and say, “I need advice”, don’t expect anything less than that. Don’t freak out when people say something that you don’t agree with or don’t understand. Listen and do whatever you want with it. Just don’t get all crazy, especially since you ASKED FOR IT. Opinions are exactly that, opinions. We don’t all need to agree.

If you post something completely inappropriate or ignorant or abusive or nasty, and you get called out on it, shut-up. Odds are good, you wrote that to get a reaction, so if it doesn’t go the way you think it should, suck it up. You said it, now deal with it.

If you constantly find yourself caught up in situations with people who are always saying, “I hate drama”, odds are really good that they are quite often the start of said drama. Also, be aware that you will at some point get completely and totally caught up in their craziness. Don’t like drama, stay away from the people who are constantly stirring the pot. If your “friends” are starting sentences with “I don’t mean to be rude”, or “no offense”, look for new friends.

If you wake up one morning and find that you’re mad at the world, or your husband or your best friend, please remember that your Facebook status is forever. The words that you post in that small space can destroy your life or theirs. Is it really worth it?

If you insist on making young children and teenagers your “friends”, PLEASE limit what they can see on your page. I really don’t think young people need to see their teachers, leaders or parents best friends in compromising situations. There is nothing like having to explain to your 12-year-old that their teacher must just be wearing a skin coloured shirt, and that she isn’t in fact naked. Use your head people.

If you have an opinion on something and it is solely based on emotion and or ignorance, you are going to be called out by others. Keep that in mind before you bare your soul on any social media platform. If you feel that the best way to get your point across is to use disgusting words or terms, give your head a shake. You have a right to your own opinion but you do not have the right to be abusive and ignorant to make your point. Ever. Do not mistake the anonymity of social media as a disguise for bullying or abuse. GROW UP.

On the flip-side:

If someone says something to bait you and get a response. Ignore them. Let them sit there looking like a fool and just leave it alone. Sometimes, it really is better to just turn the other cheek and be the bigger person. There is no shame in just walking away and saying nothing. The crazies are never going away, they just aren’t. But please, do yourself a favour and don’t engage. I’m not saying that you don’t respond, but when you do, speak with purpose. Normal, healthy debate is an awesome thing. Adding fuel to an already raging fire of stupidity is something totally different.

There is so much power in words, but words ONLY have power if we give power to them. If someone is constantly calling you a loser or stupid, who cares? Those words will hurt but you must choose to ignore their nonsense and keep the power for yourself. No one else can determine your worth. That is in your hands.

So from one adult to another … please be exactly that. An adult. Guard your words. Bite your tongue. And sometimes, just shush it and walk away.