Tag Archives: tired

Screaming in Silence

Some days I wake up and I’m tired. I’ve had a great sleep and I’m refreshed and ready for the day, but I’m still so very, very tired.

Some days I can’t form a clear thought in my head. I know what I want to say, and I know what I need to do, but I just can’t get my thoughts together.

Some days I catch myself looking at my kids and wondering why in the world I ever thought being a Mom was a good idea.

Some days I try and figure out ways to lock myself out of my house and away from the chaos that seems to thrive inside.

Some days I can’t come up with new answers to the questions that I’ve already answered a million times.

Some days I just want to scream, at the top of my lungs while I jump up and down and stomp my feet. But I never do, I just stand there in silence and leave the screaming inside my head.

Most days I wonder if I’m being the best Mom that I can be? Am I helping my kids become all that they can be? Am I good enough for them?

Being a Mom is tough. It’s also amazing and awesome and wonderful, but it’s still tough.

So often I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and cower from the responsibilities that have been given to me. It is my job to train them in the way that they should go. It is my job to shape their character, teach them morals and give them self-confidence. It is my job to be their example.

I yell at my kids more often than I should. I quite often forget that they’re not adults and put too high of expectations on them. I don’t go to enough of their school and sporting events. I let them eat more junk food than they should. I get mad at them when they don’t do exactly as I say. I give them irrational punishments that I always regret later. I make more mistakes than I ever care to admit.

But then I look into the faces of my babies, and I’m blown away by how incredibly amazing they are. Someway, somehow, I did that. My heart tells me that I’m a good Mom, but my brain quite often tries to convince me otherwise. Why is that?

Why do we as Moms do this to ourselves? Why can’t we just trust our instincts and the decisions that we are making? No one knows you or your family better than YOU, so why isn’t that good enough?

I’m tired. Tired of questioning myself and second guessing everything. I’m tired of fretting and worrying about each and every decision that I make. I’m tired of feeling like there should be more to my journey, and I’m ready to kick all my “tireds” to the curb.

Let’s make a pact. You and me and all the Moms around us. Let’s agree to be true to ourselves first. Let’s honour our families and the choices that we’ve made. Let’s own our mistakes and do better next time. Let’s love ourselves the same way we love our children. Let’s never let doubt convince us that we are worth less than we really are. Let’s trust ourselves. Let’s agree to give up on being perfect and instead work on being content.

So from this moment forward, the ground on which I stand is solid. I KNOW who I am. I am confident and am trusting in all that I know to be true.  I am an awesome Mom. A great friend. An incredible wife and a good daughter. That is more than enough for me.

And if one day I need to scream, out loud. That’s okay too.

keep-calm-youre-a-good-mom

This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. If you want to follow along with all of us “challengers”, click on their links below. 

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

Mom First. Writer Last.

That pretty much sums up my day.

Matching outfits for school, reading up on my new “job”, doing laundry again, and again and again. Separating the minions from the screaming fighting match that is Minecraft when played with a sibling that cannot read and doesn’t know any colours. Planning what to put in the 25 lunches per week that I’m about to start making again. (The ONLY bad part of back to school time). Planning our escape in 2 weeks. Counting inventory for one store, and cleaning up my massive mess that the other store creates. Popcorn and movie night with the Wiener 5 and yet another load of laundry still to fold.

In other words, today was a stupid busy, but awesome Mom day.  Not sure if I was too busy, too lazy or too tired to write today. Let’s go with busy. No writing, just surviving.

Super Mom. Out.

awesomeness

This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. Click on the links below to check out some of the other awesome bloggers involved in the challenge. So much awesome.

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

12 More Sleeps

Summer is such a lovely time.

Sunshine, rainbows and children filled with joyfulness and glee. Mother’s bonding with their children and enjoying all of the freedom that no school brings. Playdates with friends and trips camping at the lake. Making s’mores at the campfire and running through the sprinkler. Perfect, family awesomeness.

It sounds heavenly doesn’t it? And thankfully, that is exactly what my summer was like. Exactly.

Minutes turned into hours – hours into days – days into weeks and two months later, I’ve had all of the joy that one Mother could ever handle. My family happiness meter is filled to the top, and I’m ready to share my little bundles of joy with others. I’m willing to let them go so they can bless others.

Over the summer, their “skill” levels increased dramatically. They can now “sing” at the tops of their lungs for hours at a time. Perfect for music class. They can run for hours and hours, without seemingly needing a break and just might be your next track stars in the making. They’re also ready for walks in the wilderness as they figured out how to leave little trails of stuff wherever they go. I can rest easily knowing that you won’t lose them in the woods. They’ve also learned a lot about things being fair, and have reminded me on numerous occasions just how much they appreciate my teaching them all about that. And most importantly, they’ve had many “sharing sessions” over the past two months, and have “bonded” over toys and team building. It’s been quite inspirational actually. And now they’re ready to share their skills with you.

You’re welcome world. The Wiener Five are ready for school, and hopefully you’re ready for them cause ready or not, they’re coming. 12 more sleeps.

Enjoy them, I most certainly have.

backtoschool

This is Day Two of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. If you want to do some awesome reading … follow along with all of us “challengers”.

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy