Tag Archives: twitter

Who are you anyways?

I am a TOTAL fan of Social Media. Huge fan. Big honking fan actually and there is a distinct possibility that I have a small addiction. Just a slight one though as I could quit it anytime I wanted.¬† ūüôā¬† But anyways …..

I’ve made some amazing connections and “met” some really cool people. Many of them are exactly who they claim to be. They are¬†people with real concerns and really great ideas. They are funny. They are caring and they are a supportive ear. I like those kind of people. A lot.

And then there are the other ones. People that claim to be one thing, but in reality are absolutely nothing like that. Nothing. They jump up to reprimand and correct people and how they’re doing things, while they do the exact same things at home. They sometimes act sweet and innocent, and then you later learn that they’ve been kicked out of every playgroup in the city. Or you’ve been having a nice conversation with them on Twitter and then you log into Facebook and meet their alter ego, Crazy Face. It’s all so very interesting and more than a little bit frustrating.

I know how quickly things can get carried away when you’re not face to face with someone. It’s so easy to get caught up in the anonymity that the internet gives us and just speak without thinking. Our walls all come down and we find a voice that we didn’t even know we had.¬† Unfortunately,¬†common sense quite often¬†gets lost behind that voice and¬†nuttiness seems to come flying out of our mouths. There’s also that¬†whole “feelings get lost in the translation” thing that doesn’t always help our stories out. And no matter how many smiley face emoticons we add to try and make our point, our true intention doesn’t always come across.

This isn’t just a Social Media phenomenon, we see it all over the place. People calling themselves one thing and then “living” something completely different. People that are put into a “role” in their lives¬†either¬†in their workplace or their community. And instead of doing what they should be, they end up using their position for something completely different. ¬†I really don’t care who you are or what you claim to be, but please “BE” what you’re claiming.

If you’re going to be the mayor of your community, be the best stinking mayor that you can be. Stand up and fight for your constituents. Be an example of what a true leader can be. Don’t wear that title as a crown of popularity and ignore the little people. Don’t pretend to be a mayor … be the leader you were elected to be.

If you’re going to call yourself a breastfeeding advocate, by all means, pull out all the stops and do your community proud. But don’t spend time tearing non-breastfeeders down. Be an example and let them see the beauty of it, and not just a militant ‘knows I’m right” person.

If you’re a teacher, recognize your role in the lives of the children you’ve been given to teach. Remember that they are watching you and waiting for your guidance. The words you use, and the actions you portray will leave lasting marks on their lives. Help them to fall in love with learning, and ensure they leave you in a better place than when they arrived at the beginning of the school year.

If you’re a Mom, just be a Mom. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to love your babies and be the best you that you can be. Don’t pretend to have it all together when inside you’re falling apart. Be real and honest about what’s going on in your world. The sooner you can do that, the sooner you’ll find real help and support and feel “normal”.

I’m sure that my words right now may be coming across as judgy¬†or harsh, and that so isn’t my intention. I’m not coming from a place of judgement but from a place of wanting people to just be true to themselves. We spend so much time pretending to be something we aren’t just to impress others. In doing that, we devalue ourselves and all that we have to offer.

Why choose to be a second rate version of someone else, when you could be the best YOU that you could be?

drsuess

This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. If you want to follow along with all of us “challengers”, click on their links below.¬† Please go and give them a read … writing every day for 30 days is TOUGH to do.

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

Bravery via Keyboard

I’m not exactly sure how many more times I can watch my friends and fellow business owners get ripped apart via Social Media,¬†without deleting everyone and moving into a bubble, so instead I’m writing this.

And now I take a deep breath and go ….

I cannot believe how many people with justified complaints and concerns¬†think that those things¬†give them the right to become abusive and downright ignorant. Yes, you’ve been wronged or don’t understand why a decision was made, and that’s okay.¬†And yes, you’ve got every right to ask about it and ask for clarification.¬†

In theory, many of these¬†“situations”¬†will turn out to just be a misunderstanding but quite often, rules or pricing or ideas were put in place for a reason. They aren’t going to change because you’re screaming at the top of your lungs or throwing ignorant comments around like confetti. And maybe, just maybe, you could be wrong. Get a grip people, life isn’t always fair. Plain and simple.

So if you’re one of those people¬†that is using Facebook, Twitter, Yelp or even¬†Google¬†as a disguise to say WHATEVER you want, get over yourself. Hiding behind a computer screen and using a keyboard as a weapon is so not okay. Stop doing it.

When you’re sitting there all riled up, angry and ready to start spewing out nasty words, think. Would you be brave enough to say this to the persons face? If not, why are you saying it?

If you feel that it’s a great place to address concerns with a business, think again. If you’ve got serious issues with something or someone, email them or call them. Making hateful posts and comments are so not fair and in all honesty, very childish.

It’s very hard to get your point across in words and it’s so easy to take things out of context. Your simple complaint can spin wildly out of control, and cause huge problems for someone who made an innocent mistake.

We have bad days, we make mistakes. We say things out of anger or out of sheer desperation. We scream when we want to cry. We walk away when we need to apologize. We ALL do it. Pause a second, take a breath and give people the opportunity to apologize and/or rectify the situation. 

Make a choice to do the right thing, and for pete’s sake, send an email or give a phone call as opposed to spewing your hatred all over Social Media. Odds are good that you’re not going to end up accomplishing what you set out to do. Your “enemy” will appear justified and you will look like a fool. Stand up for yourself, but do that like an adult and not a pubescent teenager.

None of us are perfect …. quit acting like you are. This isn’t about judgement, this is about common sense. Be good to each other. Please.

rudeness

Want to stop bullying? Then stop it.

I’ve written a couple of different blog posts about bullying … one explaining my take on the situation and another one showing how I’ve tried to deal with it in the past. In both of them I talked a lot about building our kids up so that bullies don’t have to power to take them down. I still wholeheartedly believe in that but I think it’s time that we as a society stand up and take responsibility for our part in perpetuating this insanity. Children look to us to lead them and guide them. They copy what we do. We are their guides and leaders. We need to take that more seriously. Now.

I’m thankful that people are finally¬†really acknowledging¬†bullying and the horrific¬†ramifications¬†that¬†it brings about.¬†What makes me sick is that it took the death of a young girl to make people take notice. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first death as a result of bullying. We should’ve¬†taken better notice a¬†long, long time ago. My hope is that these same people who have jumped on the “bullying is bad bandwagon” will actually do something to make a change and not just use this event as a way to make themselves look righteous. Please let that be what happens.

If you want bullying to stop, we as a society need to stop bullying. Stop telling and laughing at fat jokes. Quit pointing out “gingers” and making ignorant comments about them. Stop commenting on buck teeth, freckles, greasy hair, pimples, etc, etc. Quit pointing out the faults of everyone around you and/or laughing along when someone makes ignorant remarks.¬† Next time you get the urge to call someone fat or ugly, picture your daughters face on their shoulders. Not so appealing now is it? Grow Up.

Don’t post on Facebook how upset you are by bullying and how awful it is, and then go and post ignorant “jokes” or pictures. Don’t say that bullying is terrible and then start all of your sentences with “I don’t mean to be rude”, or “no offense”.¬† Don’t shove people out of your way in the grocery store, don’t butt in line, don’t belittle people in lower positions than you. Be respectful. Be polite. Be a decent human being.

When your children make ignorant comments about peers or people in their world. Correct them. When they tell inappropriate jokes. Correct them. When they comment that someone is poor or stupid or ugly. Correct them. Please don’t agree or laugh with them. You are their example. When the opportunity to teach your children arises, use it. Talk about how we’re all different and that it’s okay. Discuss how some people look different because they can’t help it. Teach them about money, and how not every has as much or has more than your family. Explain to them why they’re being corrected. They’ll get it sooner than you think, and their bad habits will be replaced with kind and compassionate ones.

Really teach your kids their worth. No one should ever think that they need to lift their shirt and bare¬†their breasts to make someone like them. Teach them that they don’t need the approval of others to be valuable. Show them that they don’t need to be “sexy” to get attention. Teach them that the number of friends they have on Facebook or the numbers of TBH’s they participate in, is in no way reflective of their value. Kids need to be built up and reminded DAILY of how awesome they are. If they are getting approval and encouragement at home, they’re not going to seek it out everywhere they go. Kids still want to fit in and belong, that’s never going to change. But if they feel secure and “know” their worth, it’ll be a lot tougher for someone else to take advantage of them or beat them down. Period.

Teach your children that they don’t need to share every little piece of themselves with others. Facebook , Instagram and Twitter are not diaries. Pictures and words are forever, help them understand that. Talk to them about online predators, and REALLY talk to them. If you’re going to allow your children to use social media, take the time to figure out how it works. Learn what texting shortcuts mean. Never assume that your child is smart enough to know when they’re being lied to or scammed. And on the flip-side, don’t assume that your child would never behave inappropriately online. Kids that are normally shy or quiet will quite often open-up online because it’s so anonymous. They can hide behind a fake persona and become anything their minds can imagine.

Consider setting up a “fake account” with a picture of someone cute. Pretend to attend another local school, pick common “likes” to your kids – food, sports teams, video games. Then send your child a¬†friend request¬†and see what happens.¬†If they don’t initially accept it, try again. Add a note to¬†your request saying something like, “we used to play ball together” or¬†whatever.¬† Once they befriend you, starting asking questions. Will they give you pictures when asked for them? Will they tell you where they go to school, share their phone number, address, etc, etc? If you invite them to an awesome party, will they agree to go? Maybe your kids will surprise you and will never¬†accept your¬†request but if they do, use this to show them just how easy it was to get them talking. Predators do this¬†EVERY DAY.

We need to change what is normal. And what is expected.¬†Children aren’t sexy. Physical appearance doesn’t determine your worth. Money does not equal power. Domestic Violence is not cool and should not be ignored. Movie stars, pop icons and their lifestyles are not reality. Please figure out a way to help your children see that and believe it. We need to set higher standards for our children and ourselves. Stop accepting¬†wrong behaviour¬†as normal.

Frankly, we as adults also need to recognize the power that we have. Our words bite just as much as those of a teenager. We are just older and “smarter” and a little bit braver. We somehow find ways to justify our behaviour because we “know” that we’re right. We’re educated, churched and have lots of life experience. Quit mistaking those things as “rights to abuse or bully”.

Politics, religion, ideals and opinions will always be fodder for bashing. Instead of joining in on the bandwagon of crazy behaviour, listen. Hear what people have to say, and then agree or disagree. If you have a concern or you don’t understand something, ask about it. So many of our “fights” are a result of mis-information or blatant gossip. Before you make a judgement, make sure you have all the facts. Agree or Not, doesn’t really matter. Your response is what’s important. Hatred should never be an option.

Bullying is a horrible, horrible thing but it’s just a symptom of something bigger.¬†As we all move forward, working towards change,¬†please think of this one simple word. Respect. Respect for yourself, and respect for the people around you. If we could all just focus on that, the world would be a much happier and safer place.

C is for Coconut Oil

After the kids are all put to bed and the Mom’s find a comfy chair, Twitter comes to life. We talk about things that people probably shouldn’t really even talk about. We laugh like crazy, and¬†someone usually ends up¬†¬†“spitting out¬†their drink” after reading a tweet. We tease each other, complain about our kids, our husbands and our jobs. We have a whole lot of fun.

The cool thing about Twitter is that you end up “meeting” people who are nothing like you. Quite often, you start out by having nothing in common except a mutual friend or a business that you both love. And soon enough you end up talking with hippies about things you know absolutely¬†nothing about.

For example, you learn about this.

You will also¬†learn that his name is Herman, and that you’re supposed to DRINK it. I’m still not really even sure what it is. Scoby¬†or Kombucha or something like that. But it will always be scum growing in a jar to me. Always.

You will then start hearing MUCH talk about the virtues of this item.

For those of¬† you that ¬†follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you will have heard me speak of Coconut Oil, and it will have made no sense to you. Until now. “People” will go on and on and on about how wonderful¬†Coconut Oil is. ¬†How it can pretty much do anything and that it will change your life. And how it tastes SO good and blah, blah, blah. Did you know that you can use it as deodorant and¬†also¬†as toothpaste? It’s become such a running joke that pretty much¬†any time someone has an ailment, or a problem with their car, or an itch or a scratch, we suggest that you rub coconut oil on it. No, it doesn’t make sense, but it seems to be a conversation topic that just doesn’t get old.

During one of our nightly Twitter Chats, Coconut Oil popped up into conversation again. As usual, Meaghan was extolling its virtues and told us that she eats it right off the spoon. We quickly asked for clarification and were told that she does, in fact, eat it by the spoonful right from the jar.

She dared us to try it. And now, I don’t know about you, but when a dare is presented, it is most definitely considered and quite possibly taken. Even though Jen and I are convinced that Meaghan is trying to convert us into hippies, I¬†thought, “how bad can it be, it smells like tanning lotion and pina¬†coladas”. Meaghan¬†also did say that is was¬† “nom” AND¬†there was¬†the¬†threat of being disowned. So I did it,¬†I¬†ate a spoonful of Coconut Oil, right out of the jar. Jen was brave and also took the challenge,¬†but was smart enough to record it with pictures.

See her face? It was worse than that. It WAS like eating a heaping spoonful of sun tanning¬†lotion that tasted nothing like coconuts. It coated my tongue and throat and it¬†took 2 days to “uncoat”. It was disgusting, and most certainly wasn’t life changing like a certain person had promised. It was sick and wrong. After M realized that we had actually eaten an entire spoonful, she tried to tell us that wasn’t what she meant. ¬†She just wanted us to “taste” it, a small tiny bit, “like on the back of a spoon”. ¬†Bah. Too late, we had taken her dare and J & I were now coated in Coconut Oil and were suffering. FYI … Water and Pop don’t help with the de-oiling but Salt & Vinegar chips do.

The evening continued on with more chatter. The coconut oil fiasco stayed forefront¬†as we basically told¬†everyone how¬†Meaghan had tortured us. ¬†People were shocked that we would do such a thing, but once they learned that we had been dared, and our relationship threatened, they quickly sided with Jen and I.¬†Eventually, ¬†a certain “someone”¬†suggested that we were basically even as the jalapenos that she was cutting “were burning her¬†eyes”. ¬†Ooh … yeah, so even.

And then this happened.

For some reason, she didn’t¬†run to her¬†cupboard and whip up¬†the spicy, cleansing concoction. ¬†So I tried the same threatening tactics that she used on us.

And still, in spite of that spirited plea, she refused to comply. She obviously isn’t as good of a friend as Jen and I are. So this is our gift to you Meaghan.

Consider yourself the poster girl for the all new Jalapeno and Coconut Oil Douche which I’m sure either you or one of your Hippie friends will be selling any day now. And watch your back sister, watch your back. Your time will come.

P.S. Meghan is crazy cool. Coconut Oil really is pretty awesome, as long as you don’t eat it “like peanut butter”. I love Hippies but not Patchouli and I will never drink anything named Herman.

 

This post was Day 5 of the 31 Day Summer Blogging Challenge ~ Please go and read what my other challenge buddies have to say as well!!

Natasha at Natural Urban Mamas    Meaghan at Magz D Life
Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† Zita at The Dulock Diaries