Tag Archives: weightloss

Week Eleven, and Nothing to Say

The best thing about this post is that I really have nothing to say.

I am doing good. I’m finding my groove and I feel like I’m winning this battle.

This week wasn’t any harder than usual but it wasn’t easier. It was just another week, and frankly, that feels pretty good.

I don’t recall ever really feeling this in control before. If I forget to eat, or miss my vitamins or don’t finish all my water, I no longer feel a sense of defeat. I don’t feel like spending the rest of the day eating cookies and drinking pop. The desire to just pack it in and give up seems to have left me. I hope it stays away.

The week of nothing. Best week ever.

Week Eleven gave me these things:

~ More inches gone, and 3.5 more pounds have hit the road.

~ 3 people joined my team of Losers and I’m so excited to help them on their journey.

~ I found a new place to meet my friends for lunch, and for anyone that is trying to cut out sugar and bad fats knows, that is hard to find. Who knew Safeway & their fancy new salad bar and eating area would become my new hot spot? Lunch date anyone?

~ I tried some new Ideal Protein products this week and have found a new fave. Mushroom and Parmesan Couscous Risotto is delish, and is a perfect addition to my big lunch salad.

~ I had to buy new underwear, cause mine were falling off. Big ol’ panties that slide down under your butt when you walk, is not a good thing.  🙂

 

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  There’s still lots of room on my team. I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Week 10: Are you on my team or not?

This has been a hard week. But not hard for me per-say, but hard for everyone else.

It’s taken 2.5 months, but people’s opinions and worries and ideas about me following this plan have reared their ugly heads. I am doing just fine, but the people around me are not. THAT is what makes being on a diet or following a health plan difficult, the people around the person trying.

Let me make something very clear. If you are trying to lose weight by eating healthy and going to the gym, it’s no easy task. If you choose to take herbal supplements and shakes, it’s still very hard. If you choose the surgical route to lose weight, it’s not a cop-out nor does the weight just fall off.  If you choose to follow the plan that I’m on, it is not easy. This is work, it is REALLY hard work.

Changing every single thing about yourself and being cognizant of every piece of food that goes into your mouth, is not easy. Readjusting your social life so it fits into your plan and your new way of thinking is not fun as everyone is mad that you can’t go out like you used to. Putting yourself first instead of friends and family is crazy hard, and someone almost always feels hurt or left out. Staying on track and not just giving in when your goal seems so far away, is incredibly hard on the heart and the brain.

Losing weight and getting healthy is NO JOKE people. It is stinking hard. Food is about so much more than sustenance, it is social, it is the thing that brings families together and unites different groups of people. And that is the first thing that we have to readjust or give up. Food.

No matter how someone chooses to change their lives, someone else is always going to question it. Someone is always going to say that it’s unhealthy, or that they’re cheating by using special products or they just sit there in judgement waiting for them to fail. It’s so NOT okay and it does nothing but make this already incredibly difficult journey even harder.

Funny thing is, no one was all that vocal or concerned when I was just fat and unhealthy, but now they’ve got something to say. Now that I’m eating healthier than I ever have, now that I’m focusing on myself, now that I’m actually feeling better than I have in years, people are yip-yapping all over the place.

If you’re truly concerned about your “friend” and the plan they’re on, ask some questions and stop making assumptions. Ask them if they need help, or want to go for a walk, or just need to vent and talk about how they’re feeling. Most importantly, be proud of them, be supportive and just be present.

And please recognize that BIG changes take BIG changes. You may not fully understand what I’m going through, and that’s totally fine. But please understand that I have to change everything to make things better going forward. I’m very overweight, very unhealthy and just drinking less juice isn’t going to change a darned thing in my life. I have to take the hard way to reach my goals and if you’re on my team, you need to accept that and love me through it. If you can’t, you’re really not on my team.

The majority of the people on a diet are struggling. They’ve come to the end of themselves and are standing at the base of an incredibly high mountain. They need support and love, not more judgement and belittlement. It is going to take a lot of time, a lot of perseverance and a lot of work to get to the top of that mountain.

As their friend, either push, pull or get out of the way.

Week 10 brought me this: A tonne of gossip, a severe sinus infection, a crazy allergic reaction and a loss of 5.5 lbs. It has been a very colourful and interesting week. LOL. BUT I am still winning so BOOM.

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  I could really use a weight loss buddy.  I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

Week Nine: Hard to look ahead when you have No Vision

This week has been a very interesting one for me. As usual, I’m still struggling with eating enough and have missed a few meals this week. I really truly have no idea how I do it, I get busy and then forget to eat. My intentions are good but my ability to follow through totally sucks.

BUT, I’m still trying and I’m still going. My coach is a very helpful and encouraging voice and he always reminds me why I’m doing this. It truly is an awesome thing knowing that someone has your back and wants you to succeed. I also need someone giving me heck and calling me out on my lack of focus, which he does. So going into week ten, my goal is to not get myself in trouble, which means I have to eat, properly and on time. (Why is this so stinking hard for me anyways????). I know I can do this. Right??

What made this week interesting though was the “Make a Vision Board” party I attended. Which is where I realized that I have no vision for myself. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I like and I don’t know where I’m going. It truly was the weirdest thing. I was surrounded by people that had a plan or an idea of what they wanted, and then there was me. Who the heck am I and where exactly am I going?

I think I used to be fun, but at some point, things changed. I played ringette for years, and I was pretty good. I coached ringette and played softball. I liked to travel, I loved going out and being social. I went for walks, enjoyed going to the movies and concerts. But now, I have no desire to really do anything. I have zero sense of adventure, almost to the point where trying new things is more scary than appealing. I’ve become a creature of habit and do the exact same things over and over, and I’ve pretty much been okay with that, but maybe now it’s time for me to change that.

I became a Mom, I got sick,and then I was given the gift of chronic pain. I was the fat girl, who’s only real goal was to get skinny. It was the most obvious thing to make a resolution about, or to try and change because well, that’s what fat people should do. Get skinny. The other parts of me completely went away, and I became something new. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel deprived or like I’m missing out on anything, because I don’t. I love my life, my kids and my husband. But I think I’ve become too okay with just being content and blah. I need to have goals that are bigger than losing weight and stop eating sugar. I need to want more. I need to do more.

Which brings me to my vision board. It’s a work in progress, but I managed to kinda sorta make something. I found things I love, like rainbows, and some great quotes. I found some things that I need to work on, such as putting down my phone and remembering that I’m stronger than I think. I also found a pic of vegetables and the word protein because well, that’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s not really a vision persay, but it’s a jumping off point. I need to find myself again.

 

 

I am a most excellent mother, a good friend and a decent wife. But I’m more than that, I just need to figure out what that looks like. It began 9 weeks ago, but I’m starting to get glimpses of the new me. A bit smaller, a lot healthier and on my way.

Week Nine has been about gifts, and this is what it gave me:

A glimpse into my future and a little bit of vision.

A great knock-off version of my beloved Iced Capp that I created with my Ideal Protein cappuccino Shake, a schwack of ice and some coffee. It’s not the same, because seriously, how does one improve on the perfection that is Tim Hortons, but it is filling a void.

I left my house, put on socks, wore some community shoes and joined a fun ladies bowling team. I am now a QueenPin that has absolutely zero bowling skills, and a really nice bowling shirt.

And pants that are a size smaller. Yes, I bought new pants.  🙂

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  I could really use a weight loss buddy.  I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Week Eight and Losing Faith

This has been a really discouraging week for me.

I allowed myself to focus on the numbers on the scale as opposed to measuring my success by the way I felt. I’ve never really cared about what I weighed or what I looked like, but now all of the sudden, I was focusing on that. The size of my jeans is effecting the state of mind.

When I look at how far I need to go to get to a healthy weight, it’s terrifying, and frankly, how in the heck is this going to even happen? And how long will it actually take? And am I totally setting myself to fail at this for the gazillionith time? Will my outside ever match my inside? Can I do this?

In my head, I know that the changes and the improvements that I’m feeling are massive, but why are they falling to the wayside? Why am I thinking about number of pounds lost as opposed to how little pain I am in now? How have I forgotten about my how much clearer my head is and how much better I feel in general? How does something that I’ve never really cared all that much about have this much power in my head? Why does this need to happen?

It took me almost 45 years to get to the place I am, and even though part of me knows that my world can’t change overnight, I still want that. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see that I am done. I want to be able to eat whatever I want, wear whatever I want and not have to constantly think about all of the ways I’ve screwed up or how I’ve failed. I want to just be a normal person that no one looks at and judges because of the size I am or the foods that I’m putting in my mouth. I want to not be where I am physically. I want to think about something else.

This is a horrible place to be. A stinking, rotten, mind messing up, place to be.

At least it was. Thankfully, I managed to wake up and after about 5 days of nonsense, I remembered what I’m really working towards. It’s not about a size. It’s not about a reflection in a mirror. And it most certainly isn’t about a number on a scale.

It’s about life. And not living the one that I’ve been trapped in for the last few years. It’s about fixing something that I’ve broken. And obviously, I’ve got to start working on my brain and reminding it of what this is truly about.

It’s not about skinny. It’s about losing myself and finding me. In spite of the numbers.

Week Eight gave me this:

5 days of mental torment and disbelief.

A reminder of why I’m doing this and where I’m going.

And leggings. I wore leggings in public, which I’m still not convinced is the right choice for a fat girl, but it was either that or the super large lumberjack pants. No one laughed at me, so I’m calling that a win.

No weigh-in this week though as I picked up the plague from one of the 7, and am languishing on the couch with throat drops and Advil which frankly, I’m looking at as a gift. This was not the week to step on a scale.

As I move forward, I acknowledge that I don’t have to be strong and perfect all the time. Instead, I need to just be okay. And happy. And kind to myself. The rest of it is just cake. Or at least one day, it will be.  🙂

 

 

  • WANT TO JOIN ME? I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share, and I could use a weight loss buddy. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

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Week Four and Lessons Learned

Today wrapped up Week 4 in my new and exciting journey. It wasn’t a super great week for me, and it didn’t end as I hoped it would. But it did end, and it’s reminded me of exactly why I started this journey in the first place.

It’s Me. I fail miserably at taking care of myself, and I’ve got to figure out a way to change that. Change my brain. Change the way that I think about myself. Change from being number 42 on the importance scale to at least a 2 or 3.

I’m still totally enjoying Ideal Protein and the program. I love that it’s simple and straightforward, and that I don’t have to be some Masterchef to follow the plan closely. I haven’t cheated. I’m not craving sugar like a maniac. I’m not eating just to eat. I’m doing good for the most part.

Where I’m failing, is that I’m falling back into a pattern of not eating. I get busy, and distracted and I just don’t eat. 2 days this week, I literally ate nothing until 6:30pm, and even then, it wasn’t enough. I set alarms in my phone, and then I shut them off because I’m busy. My husband calls me and asks me if I’ve eaten, and I usually have to answer no. It’s just the weirdest thing, why don’t I eat?

Is it because I’m a Mom? That I currently have 7 kids and have so many other things to think about? Is it because I can’t have Iced Capp’s & Nachos, so I choose nothing instead? Is it because I just suck at caring about myself? Is it any of these reasons or is it a combination of all them? I really don’t know, but I really want to fix it.

How does someone switch from putting others first to putting themselves first? How exactly does one do that?

For now, I will set alarms and I will listen to them. I will try and be more conscious of what I’m doing or not doing. I will try and wake up believing that I’m not Mom first and that it’s okay for my kids to come second sometimes. That’s where I’m going to start.

To wrap up Week Four:

I gained 1 pound. But more importantly, I saw what not eating actually does to my body.

My constant pain is almost not constant. I still tire quickly, and if I overuse my muscles, it takes them a bit to recover. But I’m not in pain all the time and that’s so stinking awesome.

In one month: I lost a total of 14 pounds, 6.5 inches, a whole lotta pain, my sugar cravings, and the fear of being able to do something this difficult.

And inside that loss, I found the beginning of something amazing. I found out things about myself that I need to change, and things that I want to let go of completely. I found out that even though I live an amazing life, I deserve more and so does my family. That content isn’t good enough anymore.

Guess it’s time to put on my own life preserver before trying to save anyone else.

 

 

  • JOIN ME.  I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Winning at Week One

Well, my first week of Ideal Protein life has come to a close.

It went a whole lot better than I thought it would, a lot better. It’s amazing how much easier it is to be on a diet, without actually caring about how much weight you lose. There’s a weird freedom in that, a nice breathable kind of freedom.

When I look back on the week, the hardest thing about it was all the eating. For the first time, in a really long time, I made myself conscious of the choices I was making. I was eating on a schedule. I was satisfied when I was done and I felt hungry at the appropriate times. I wasn’t being controlled by food, I was controlling it. And frankly, it was kind of cool.

Day 3 & Day 4 were the days of massive headache. Apparently the body gets riled up and angry for a bit when you take away its crappy fuel source, and it starts burning its own fat stores. It wasn’t pretty, but some Advil, some salt and some electrolyte drinks later… I survived.

Day 5, I woke up and the inflammation in my hands was noticeably decreased. For anyone that knows me, they know that my hands hurt constantly, they swell, and I can’t overuse them or they just don’t work. I never would’ve thought that 5 days of nothing but good clean food, and no sugar would make such a difference in that particular area. Didn’t expect it, but I sure as heck appreciate it.

Day 6. I felt awake. Not the “I feel so tired” but now am awake kind of awake, but the kind where a fog has lifted and I can see.

Day 7.  Well it was just another day, and how awesome is that? I wasn’t focused on anything negative. It was just me, my veggies, my protein packs and it was a Monday. Who ever feels good on a Monday?

I really, truly didn’t feel like I was missing out on something this week. I didn’t feel like my life was ending because I couldn’t have an Iced Capp. I didn’t feel like I couldn’t do this. I felt like I was finally on my way to feeling better.

And now as I sit down to write about it, I’m actually having a really hard time finding the words to describe this past week, as my brain & my heart seem to have shifted. Shifted into a place or an attitude or a thought process that it’s never experienced before. I guess that drop into Rock Bottom turned something on. Or off. Whatever it did, I like it.

I’m super excited to see what the rest of 2017 brings. I’ve taken before pictures, weights and measurements and will share them some day. But not today.

For today, I give you this. My results from Week One. I’ve got less overall pain, less inflammation, a much brighter outlook, and I weigh 12.2 lbs less. I call that a good start to a good thing.

Week One. Win.

  • I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

2017: The year of Losing, Living and Winning

You know that day when you wake up and you’re just done. That day when you look in the mirror, and stare yourself straight in the face and know that you have come to the end of yourself. That you have finally found a stopping place?

I don’t want to call it hitting rock bottom because that just sounds like a horrible place to be. And frankly, who wants to admit that rock bottom is where they’ve found themselves?

But today I’m admitting to all of you that I am that person. I am in that place, I am done, and I am at rock bottom.

My body is failing me, or maybe I should say that I’VE been seriously failing my body.

I’ve been overweight my entire life. I’ve been in pain for more years than I’d like to admit. I’m currently the fattest person in the world to actually suffer from malnutrition. I’ve bled – almost to death, I have chronic and almost debilitating sinus issues, I get headaches – a lot of headaches and I now enjoy panic attacks in reaction to my levels of pain & the ways my body is acting. I am physically a broken mess.

Where I’ve failed my body is that I have done basically nothing to try to make things better. I’ve just come to accept that this is where I’m at, and I just live with it. I’ve seen great doctors, specialists and all kinds of fabulous professionals. They’ve given me great advice, and have explained to me what’s going on in my body. They’ve given me pills and supplements and plans to follow. All have worked on some level, but will never really “fix” what’s wrong with me.

Reason being … it’s me. I have to change me.

I am a most excellent caregiver and can take great care of all those around me. I’m sensitive to others feelings and find ways to encourage and lift them up when they need it most. Helping others is what feeds my soul, it’s what makes me, me. Unfortunately, I get so caught up in putting everyone else first, that i completely forget about myself. I haven’t done it on purpose, I’ve literally forgotten & lost myself.

And if we’re being truly honest, I’ve got food issues. Not just the standard, binge eating and sugar seeking, which I’ve got but weird ones too. I hate cooking, so if I don’t have to cook for my family, I don’t do it, which means if I’m at home alone, I don’t eat. Unless it’s something like toast or cookies, because that’s not really cooking. If I go out, I’ll buy fast food, because well, I don’t have to cook it. Food prep is like cooking, and most healthy food needs some version of prepping, so again I choose not eating or I choose to eat garbage. If I go on a diet, I usually choose not eating because I can’t eat what I really want. It’s warped and messed up but I can very easily go 18-20 hours without eating anything, many days/week. I am basically, unintentionally starving myself, and that is what is keeping me fat. My body is screaming for healthy food, vegetables, protein, and eating on a regular basis and I just can’t seem to make myself get in the kitchen or even really care.

I am 100% without question, my own worst enemy.

But today, I am doing something about that. I’ve finally admitted AND accepted that I can’t do this on my own, so I’ve asked for help. Today is the day that I’m starting the Ideal Protein diet, and completely changing everything about myself. I have a great coach that is focused on helping me become the best version of myself, and not someone who is always sick and always in pain. For that, I’m thankful.

Funny thing is, I’m not doing this to lose weight per-say. That’s obviously a part of why I’m starting, but it’s more about me getting healthy. It’s about following a plan that will make me eat like a normal person, and not only toast at midnight. It will make me aware of the food that I’m putting into my mouth and will help me focus on nutrition as opposed to just eating when I’m almost starving. With the help of my coach and the team of people who love me, this plan will help me check back into my life and my choices. It’s all laid out and easy for me to follow, and I like that. For now, I need easy while I relearn how to eat, and how to put me first. I’m excited.

I will be the first person to admit that it’s kind of weird to be going on a ‘diet’ without the main focus being on weight loss, but that works for me. I’m a very happy fat person, and fat isn’t who I am. What I am no longer happy about is being broken. It’s time to make a change so I can get out of this fog of pain and uncomfortable-ness.

I’ve made a commitment to myself, my husband, my family and my coach that 2017 is the year that I will finally make a difference in my own life. That I will stop getting in my own way. That I will take the advice and the help that is offered to me. That I will choose me first, more often than not. That I will get out of my comfort zone and try new things. That I will stop being okay with not being okay.

This blog will serve as my accountability tool. It will be my way of checking in and reminding myself of all the good that will come out of this journey. It will be my place to be honest, and angry, and happy, and sad and all of those great things.

It will be my story, and hopefully a little bit of yours too.

So, what do I need from you as my people? Please understand that this next year is about me making good choices. I’m not going to eat your chips and your cake. I’m not going to “have just one”, and start again the next day. No Iced Capps. No Lattes. Please respect me, please help me, and please be okay with the decisions that I’m making for myself. Please be on my side and know that even writing this out has been incredibly hard to do as I know that I can no longer hide. This is it friends, this is the beginning of a grand adventure.

For the next 337 days, I will be losing, living, winning and sharing it all with you.

I can’t wait to see where this year takes us.

losinglivingwinning