Tag Archives: words

Words.

Last February, I wrote a blog post. I was angry and annoyed by the words of a small group of people who meant absolutely nothing to me. In theory, they should have had zero impact on my life, but they did.

And I think that’s what made me the most upset. Complete strangers had burned me to my core and I was SO not okay with that. I had let them take my power, but writing that letter helped me get it back.

I love that I was able to write it, and for the impact that it made in the lives of many people around me. Turns out my story wasn’t mine alone, but was the same one being lived by more people than I could even imagine. By saying those words aloud, it gave many people the opportunity to stand up and say, “you are right, they are wrong, and we are SO okay”. What a gift.

Now on the flip side. What would’ve happened if I would’ve stood up and said, “those strangers exposed me, and now the world can see my flaws and weaknesses”. What if I would’ve accepted their crap as my reality? What if I would’ve told you all that I am nothing “but a fat pig, that was worthless and that no one would ever love me”.

Would your reaction have been the same or would it have changed the way you looked at me? Instead of being the powerful girl who stood up for herself, I would have been the girl who was pitied or felt sorry for. It would not have been shared 200+ times, it would have been a post soon forgotten and let go.

Funny thing is, It’s the exact same story but it was told from a different viewpoint, with a positive spin.

I chose to see their words in the exact opposite way than they had wanted them to be heard. I chose to take back the power that they had ripped from me. I chose to say, screw you, you are wrong.

I also chose to tell you the story after I had worked through it and corrected it in my head. I chose words in hopes that they would affect change, and they did. Those words were not their story, they were mine.

I said all of that to say this.

Words have power people, do not forget that and do not take it lightly. Our mouths have the ability to uplift or destroy, to burden or set free, to harm or heal, to motivate or demean. We use them to diagnose or more often than not, mis-diagnose. We use them in judgement or as a means to push others down to make ourselves feel better. We change them as often as we change our minds, and twist them or rearrange around them to suit our own purposes or current agenda.

We’ve turned words into weapons and we are killing each other with them.

So please choose your words wisely. They cannot be taken back and will not always be forgotten or forgiven. They can quite easily turn a person into a shell of what they are truly meant to be, just as quickly as they can set someone completely free.

Disagreements and differences in opinion are not reason enough to “attack and destroy”. Open your eyes, open your ears, listen and learn. And sometimes,  just shut your mouth.

Your mind may never be changed or your opinion swayed, and frankly, that’s okay. Different is awesome, and what makes our world just that much more interesting. Why would we let our words destroy that which is so unique and amazing?

You do not always need to be right. You do not always need to win. You do not always know best.

Speak up, speak out, but don’t speak over. We all deserve better than that.

 

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Save the Drama for your Mama.

Drama. It’s everywhere, it’s annoying and it doesn’t seem to be going away. Facebook and Twitter seem to be a breeding ground for stupid, and I am constantly shocked by all of the things I read on a daily basis. It really is sickening and wrong, and frankly, pathetic.

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks watching friends and acquaintances get attacked and wrung through the ringer. I’ve seen people be disgustingly abusive and ignorant. I’ve seen incredibly intelligent people get caught up in other people’s “attention seeking” displays of crazy. I’ve deleted really inappropriate and graphic pictures on my page and my childrens.   I’ve also just had to unfriended a handful of really mean & ignorant “friends”.  I’ve said nothing.

Until now.

If you go on Facebook and say, “I need advice”, don’t expect anything less than that. Don’t freak out when people say something that you don’t agree with or don’t understand. Listen and do whatever you want with it. Just don’t get all crazy, especially since you ASKED FOR IT. Opinions are exactly that, opinions. We don’t all need to agree.

If you post something completely inappropriate or ignorant or abusive or nasty, and you get called out on it, shut-up. Odds are good, you wrote that to get a reaction, so if it doesn’t go the way you think it should, suck it up. You said it, now deal with it.

If you constantly find yourself caught up in situations with people who are always saying, “I hate drama”, odds are really good that they are quite often the start of said drama. Also, be aware that you will at some point get completely and totally caught up in their craziness. Don’t like drama, stay away from the people who are constantly stirring the pot. If your “friends” are starting sentences with “I don’t mean to be rude”, or “no offense”, look for new friends.

If you wake up one morning and find that you’re mad at the world, or your husband or your best friend, please remember that your Facebook status is forever. The words that you post in that small space can destroy your life or theirs. Is it really worth it?

If you insist on making young children and teenagers your “friends”, PLEASE limit what they can see on your page. I really don’t think young people need to see their teachers, leaders or parents best friends in compromising situations. There is nothing like having to explain to your 12-year-old that their teacher must just be wearing a skin coloured shirt, and that she isn’t in fact naked. Use your head people.

If you have an opinion on something and it is solely based on emotion and or ignorance, you are going to be called out by others. Keep that in mind before you bare your soul on any social media platform. If you feel that the best way to get your point across is to use disgusting words or terms, give your head a shake. You have a right to your own opinion but you do not have the right to be abusive and ignorant to make your point. Ever. Do not mistake the anonymity of social media as a disguise for bullying or abuse. GROW UP.

On the flip-side:

If someone says something to bait you and get a response. Ignore them. Let them sit there looking like a fool and just leave it alone. Sometimes, it really is better to just turn the other cheek and be the bigger person. There is no shame in just walking away and saying nothing. The crazies are never going away, they just aren’t. But please, do yourself a favour and don’t engage. I’m not saying that you don’t respond, but when you do, speak with purpose. Normal, healthy debate is an awesome thing. Adding fuel to an already raging fire of stupidity is something totally different.

There is so much power in words, but words ONLY have power if we give power to them. If someone is constantly calling you a loser or stupid, who cares? Those words will hurt but you must choose to ignore their nonsense and keep the power for yourself. No one else can determine your worth. That is in your hands.

So from one adult to another … please be exactly that. An adult. Guard your words. Bite your tongue. And sometimes, just shush it and walk away.